Is it cultural differences?
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No, it’s not cultural. It starts with entitlement, respect and boundaries and who they represent in the family. So if you no longer want to see her stand up for yourself. I have to do this with my monster in law and she’s not even my MIL yet. We could use the “culture” all day long. *Yawn.* Culture my butt, you tell someone yes or no they know, you know Left or Right has nothing to do with culture or using GPS with that. So if she continues to do ABC / XYZ.. she doesn’t get ——. Point blank. And don’t give in. Because she’s used to being enabled and being given into, it’s behavior not “culture”, I have a culture too never I used it against anyone.
No it’s not a cultural difference but setting boundaries. This is your child so if you want your child, it’s an automatic right, if your child not comfortable with someone else and crying, then as a mom I would get my child point blank period no exceptions but as far as your partner goes, I would explain to him your overwhelmed and need a break from everyone so until you feel your boundaries are being met my house will be peaceful with my partner and child no visitors, in-laws and family can always see the child view FaceTime or video chat
She can claim all the cultural differences she wants, but you are the mother, and what you want over-rides them. It sounds like you need to start setting your boundaries now and make sure they have consequences. Also, get your partner involved because it's their mother and their responsibility to handle.
Seeing a lot of aggro comments immediately saying it’s not cultural differences? Hm. I am in a Multi-cultural Family, and the expectations on all sides are definitely very different. So I d ask: what does your partner say? He’s the father (presumably?) So his needs also matter. If he has grown up in a culture where “a village” supports a new family, does he believe his mother’s behaviour is appropriate? Or does he stand by you and also feel like his mother is being intrusive? Can you guys talk about this situation being stressful on you or does the topic create tension in your relationship? These situations are always complex, and whilst you have every right to stand your ground, your child will inevitably grow up with a mixed cultural family. It’s always a journey to figure out where to set boundaries in a respectful and diplomatic way that doesn’t end in “we don’t see that part of the family”. Just my 10 cents tho. 🤷♀️
I’m not Filipino so might be wrong but I’m also not British. It doesn’t look like a cultural difference and even if it was, it needs to be approached from both sides. It’s your baby, not hers and when baby is crying - she has to return it (if not earlier), otherwise the situation is: you became a mum, your baby has been born and learning about this world but for some reason everything is about your mil and what she wants 😞