Resentment against the dad
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@Alexis ok but yall situations a bit different tho. Your partner is actually willing to help and be supportive and change his ways even if you do give him some time for himself. She’s doing literally everything by herself without him even acknowledging it. So yes I can see where the resentment is at especially taking care of a kid and having little to no support. As a father you should realize how much weight your partner is carrying and be considerate. I’m currently 8 months pregnant and literally feel like the weight of everything is on me. Being a EMT working long shifts paying all the bills while the baby father is here with me been looking for a job for months and months and is unable to find one. I told him when I give birth bills and rent will need to be paid somehow and he need to figure something out bc I can’t. But it’s more to it than that. We all need a break at one point and lots of support a child isn’t easy.
@Rebecca I have to tell him to? But okay.
@Alexis she does the same based on what I’m reading but he obviously doesn’t care. She never mentioned anything about him wanted to try or be a better partner n more supportive even if you have to tell him which he should already know he’s still willing to do something different.. but her partner seems to not care at all no matter what.. especially having to leave for 5 day? And doing what he wants
@Rebecca did I not in my first sentence say I have no recommendations and then just voiced why I personally also felt some resentment?….. my bad 🤷🏼♀️ I was just relating, goodness.
Hi ladies! Thanks for your replies 😊 nice to have a community to talk to! I should caveat that he is a great dad to our baby and he will be taking a few months off to look after bubs whilst I go back to work so he will soon experience it first hand but think I sometimes get overwhelmed with how much there is to do and I feel like I don’t get huge amount of time to myself. My main thing is that bubs won’t take a bottle so he can’t feed the LO meaning I need to be close and he acknowledges that he needs to try harder but I just feel like sometimes it falls to me which can be frustrating when I’m already navigating solids, naps, nappies in the day, keeping bubs entertained etc. I guess sometimes I just feel he doesn’t empathize with the toll this is taking on me and then I get annoyed by small things. I get he’s tired when he gets in from work and it’s a matter of meeting in the middle but just trying to figure what the middle is as I’m tired too.
@Rebecca it sounds like there is a lot of pressure on you so I totally get where the stress is coming from. Definitely requires mutual support from your partner. I hope he can find a job soon! Don’t be nervous though..it is also the best thing in the world. It’s hard work but honestly when they giggle or do something cute, it makes it so worth it and gives you a little more energy to carry on!
@Alexis it’s sometimes a hard one to swallow though isn’t it? Like I don’t want to get mad but when I’ve done full time parenting, sometimes I get snappy at the little things cos I just want it to be acknowledged that it’s tiring. I get work is tiring too but it’s weird things I find triggering like..having to shower whilst bubs is in her bouncer in the bathroom so I can keep an eye. I miss private time! So when he gets home I really crave some me time which I don’t think he necessarily understands as he hasn’t done it yet.
Oh yes, definitely hard to swallow. I get overly snappy, heck, sometimes even on purpose so he asks why. Just so I can point out to him what he’s not doing🤐 I feel the same way, like work is tiring but this is a different kind of tiring parenting by yourself pretty much. Personally, my trigger is having to eat while holding little dude if he’s not having bring in his packnplay atm. Yet hubs will have downed his food already and just be sitting on his phone, ignoring little man fussing. Literally listening to me verbally trying to calm him while I try to wolf down the rest of my own meal 😂 makes my eye twitch.
I feel…. A little resentment. Sadly I have no recommendations as I just demand him to do things and he never fights me on it. But he doesn’t go out with friends or gym, just works & comes home. Which makes me feel guilty for feeling any resentment. Because I’m a SAHM. But I don’t really ask him to do much. Like 20 minutes to shower when he gets home and never immediately, and not every day, I let him decompress. Or a single diaper weekly, same with feeding (bubs is bottle fed during the day, boob at night) I think the most resentment for me, came from him physically not being capable of staying up past 9pm AT ALL, so Ive done nights by myself since day 1, and will always have to most likely due to my anxiety of him falling asleep unsafely with the baby. Toddler, he even said to himself, he’ll be better at being a dad with a toddler, but…. Yeah… the resentment lol. But I love him to death. So, I will bite this figurative bullet and deal.