To all my c section mums do you feel like a fruad/liar saying you gave birth?

Is it easier for you to say that you had a baby versus you gave birth?

No, you literally birthed a child. Or did you not ? Where was the child cooking the last 9months? I know how you feel though, I had an emergency cs and I struggled to come to terms with it especially as I believe, it was unnecessary.

Absolutely not. I had an emergency and a planned. Are these thoughts really effecting you? Maybe therapy could help?

Absolutely not. I had all intentions of having an at home birth, and ended up at the hospital with an eventual c section and I would never say that I don’t feel like I gave. I gave birth. In fact, I needed a needle in my hand and back, a catheter, more medication to help me through some nausea / calm me from a panic attack, and a forever scar across my belly where my baby entered the world. I 100% gave birth. Do you have someone you can talk to about how you’re feeling? That’s absolutely terrible that you are feeling that way. You did give birth! And you did a whole lot to do so!!

Nope, I had two and I gave birth. I created two babies and birthed them. I also have two birth certificates that legally confirm that. Birth is just the act of getting those babies out of us, doesn’t matter if it’s a section, it’s vaginal, it’s forceps and inductions.

I have people that still tell me I've never given birth, they've just been cut out.. I've had 3 sections and honestly can't relate to anyone that has had a vaginal, never had a single contraction or anything.. but they came out of me no matter what so yes I birthed them!

Ive never thought about it - i tend to refer to when the baby was born rather than i gave birth, for both babies (one vaginal, one c section)

I understand this. I've had the same thoughts. No labour, no contractions. I find it difficult to say I gave birth. Tend to say I had a baby

Nope after 12 and a half hour of labour 7 day induction. I gave birth. I understand where your coming from tho as when my son was born I felt so angry with my body and like I hadn’t been able to no my only job in life. But I had to get over it as it was pulling me away from bonding with my baby

Nope! I had an emergency c section last time and a planned one this time. You absolutely gave birth to your child however it’s done. And if I’m honest it’s the next 18 years where the hard work is going to come 😂

You carried and birthed a baby hence why it’s vaginal birth or c section birth x

Personally, I don’t say I gave birth. I say that I had a baby. But it’s just my opinion for me as I don’t feel like I did give birth. No trauma, disconnection or sadness behind it. Just I see it as I had an operation which delivered my baby. For me it’s that black and white. If someone else were to say that they gave birth, I wouldn’t argue nor would I feel any way towards them describing how their baby came to be in the world. I would respect their perspective. But for me, this is mine. I don’t find it that deep tbh. But, again, this is just me. And for me. Emergency c section. I laboured for 32 hours so felt all contractio

I say when I delivered my son. Or joke that he couldn’t find the door so he came out the sunroof (of a car that wasn’t didn’t come with nor equipped for a sunroof 😂)

No i dont now the judgy people who think that way do back off when I tell them I pushed for 6 hours before the doctor told me she had got stuck and did a not quite emergency but would have become csection. Also why is pushed out more legitimate than cut out. The pregnancy makes it legitimate. You birthed a baby because how else did they get here.

@Kai yh I say I had a baby not that I gave birth feel like gave birth is only reserved for those who had a vaginal birth. Ik that I technically did give birth but I just feel like I don't have the right to say it

I wished for a natural birth with contractions. I still had contractions due to pitosin and 5cm. Ended up with not an emergency csection. I was disappointed that I did not have natural birth. But I never felt that my baby coming out of me was not me giving birth.

Nope. I had an emergency c section but don’t feel like this. I absolutely gave birth, just from a different exit 😂

It's so often spoke about that birth is the most painful thing u will ever experience n that's generally only relatable to people who had a vaginal birth and I've had so many people that don't no my birth story just say "I bet that was painful" or if I hurt myself for example I get a lot of "but not as painful as birth I bet" and for me when I hear those things ik it's not true because I didn't experience the pain of a vaginal birth n I feel like a fraud in those moments. I just laid there whilst someone else did all the hard work n brought my baby into this world, think it's so much worse because I feel so robbed of a vaginal birth like it's almost a right of passage n I never got that

However it happened, you still gave birth to a baby.

@Claire yh I think the problem is with the "I" gave birth because I feel like "I" didn't the doctor pulled him out n brought him into the world they did all the hard bit I just laid there doing absolutely nothing. I resonate more with I had a baby, I just feel like society alwasy just assumes that when u say u gave birth its vaginal n I feel like a liar knowing that's what they are assuming

But a c section delivery is still painful. It’s just at a different time to a vaginal delivery. The pain of recovery from a c section lasts weeks - months. It can be incredibly painful from the minute the anaesthetic wears off. It’s definitely the most painful experience I’ve had - the healing whilst looking after a newborn was painful. The “hard work” just comes at a different time - same as the painful part. The “hard work” is healing.

@Donna Woods it's also that really anyone can kind feel that level of pain tho, anyone who has abdominal surgery n has an organ removed or something basically goes through the same amount of pain that I did, it just doesn't feel like a unique experience like a vaginal birth is, this is just how I feel and see it for me I'm not saying ur wrong but because of the way I feel about it I just feel so disconnected from it

We aren't all the same and we don't all go through the same journeys in life, pregnancy nor birth. There is so much pressure on vaginal birth and the benefits, same as breastfeeding. I think ultimately we just need to focus on the fact we have our babies safely in our arms, regardless of how they entered the world and that is priceless. The recovery of a C section is tough, whilst others have surgery, they have time to recover, whereas mum's are expected to just get on with it from the next day or so!

I have had abdominal surgery and a c-section, and I would argue that they are very different things. I was unconscious for the abdominal surgery but awake for my section. The recovery was harder for abdominal surgery, as I felt like it cut through more ab muscles and I was truly limited on movement - though shorter recovery than my c-section as I’m 9 months post partum and I’m still dealing with complications from my section. Furthermore, with any abdominal surgery you don’t gain a whole human/life that you need to learn how to care for afterwards. You can just sit and focus on recovering. But after a c-section you are this baby’s everything. Oh and for abdominal surgery I was sent home the same day as my surgery, but kept for 48 hours from my section. And they gave me strong drugs for my abdominal surgery but with my section they sent me home with over the counter tylenol/advil. Very different in many aspects. A c-section is very unique.

The baby wasn't handed to you on a silver platter! You had to go through pregnancy and recover from a painful surgery. And if you had an emergency c section you even did twice the work.

This topic sends me Over the edge more Because my family were horrible To me in my choice of an elective I am 1000 percent say I gave birth - he came Out of me I carried him I was cut open yes a choice I made but it happened to me And if anyone else has a problem With that tough 🤍 your amazing for birthing a child no matter how they came Out

Ewww no. You brought a child into the world. It's birth. It's mindsets like this that shame women for their choices.

@Stephanie I think “ew” is quite extreme. She says in her post emergency c section. Meaning the choice was taking away from her. She’s not shaming mums for making the the active decision for a section. It’s a huge mental hurdle a non elective section. You spend 9 months with the idea of your birth creating a birth plan for it to be taken away from you. She’s aloud to feed Hurt and confused. She’s also not taking away anyone’s happiness or sense of joy. She’s asking if anyone already felt the same not saying they should feel like a fraud or a liar.

Nope not at all, I carried the child for more than 9 months and then had an elective C section, it was my choice and most imp after a major surgery I took full care of my child. Vaginal delivery or C section you have still given birth to a child and honestly both are equally difficult one during the delivery the other post delivery!

If you don’t like the phrase, don’t use it?

I've had vaginal births and a C-section. C-section I still had contractions and laboured for like 7 hours so I feel like that counts. You still carried the child to full term right? Counts

I can relate to this. I had a back to back labour, felt all of the continuous non stop contractions, body involuntarily trying to push at 4cm. Managed to get to 8cm before baby’s heart decelled so they pushed red button and emergency c section. I struggle to say I gave birth too, even though I did go through labour, the actual birth part of pushing and bringing my baby into this world didn’t happen. I know it’s not true and we did still give birth but I completely get how you’re feeling. I’m longing for a vaginal birth so I can fully experience it. Hoping this can happen if/when we have our second baby x

@Natasha You had a vaginal birth up to 8cm. And 1cm was csection. You had both births. But more than halfway vaginal.

@Eva that may be so but to go through all that hard work and pain to have the full vaginal birth experience taken away at the last minute is upsetting and I do still struggle to say I gave birth. It’s something I’m trying to process and work through so that I hopefully don’t have these feelings when I look back on my birth story

@Hayley thank u, I wasn't saying people should feel this way I know how I feel isn't right. Thank u for hearing me n not judging x

@Emma that's not the point it's not that I am against the phrase it's that I am emotionally disconnected from it and I don't want to be and to makes feel depressed. I had a traumatic experience n I had my choice for a vaginal birth taken away from me and with it I felt like I lost the right to say I gave as well

Don’t worry about it. I had a very traumatic birth I had an induction. And after 2 days I was ready to have my waters broken but due to there being to space in the delivery ward I had to wait in the anti natal ward for 5 extra days. Baby then done the toilet inside me also braking my waters I was rushed to the delivery ward on the monitor baby heart rate was up and down all day. I was in agony with back contraction and on gas and air so I have no recollections but from what I was told they kept giving me the hormone drip which they have admitted my baby wasn’t coping with. After 12 hours and 30 minutes my baby stoped breathing for 4 minutes and I lost consciousness for 3 minutes so the decision was made for an emergency c. They told my partner to be prepared as they were not sure my baby would make it. Thankfully my baby was born healthy. But for weeks I knew I loved my baby but I had a major disconnect from him. I hated my body. I still do in a way. So I get you

@Hayley oh god that's awful, I am so sorry that happened I can't even imagine how scary that must have, thank u for sharing ur story. I am so glad u and ur baby are OK now. God it's so weird how we give ourselves such a hard time despite going through all we went through we deserve so much more, all mums do even if you have a "easy simple birth" it's still hard as hell. We all need awards just for making them let alone getting them out x

I spent almost 3 days in Labour due to an induction that didn’t mesh well with me and baby. By day 3 I was finally dialated almost up to 10 cm, but when I started to push I was bleeding far too much due to my placenta detaching and had to immediately go for an emergency c section at 1 AM. It sucks because I know personally I went through so much but I still feel like my vaginal birth was almost taken from me.. I totally relate with the OP but also the supportive mommas who are so reassuring that we all did the thing 💜 it’s a conflicting feeling forsure but just know you did it!! Everyone is valid in their emotions and how they feel, but never forget the strength it truly took to do it all

I get triggered with the popular phrase “your body was build for this”, “it’s a natural process”. Because I had an emergency C-section (after 25 hours of labor and 9 cm dilation), later my milk wasn’t coming for 5 days. Breastfeeding was painful like hell for 3-4 weeks. So overall I feel like I’m not 100% a woman. Like there must be something missing because I find it so hard - the birth, the BF, being a mom. And I don’t say I “gave birth”, I say my son “was born via C-section”.