Mother’s Day

My first Mother’s Day, I lost my mum a few years ago. There has been some really hairy and rough days since having our boy, I struggle with D-Mer and anxiety.

But today is my first as a mum and I just thought it would be different…. Our 6 month old got me flowers and pj’s.

Why do I feel so let down and disappointed? I didn’t expect to be lavished with expensive gifts or such but nothing from my husband or my farther….

No card or anything from my husband….

His birthday is at the end of the month and I went out and splashed out on some special things coz I wanted him to know he is valued and a great dad…. Now I just feel invisible.

I even told him what I might like for Mother’s Day….

But I guess it’s my own fault for having expectations…..

Maybe I’m just hormonal but I feel hurt

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Now I read back this post I feel stupid and selfish

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I totally feel you, girl. Sending you love ❤️

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You are not stupid or selfish for wanting to feel loved, valued, and seen on a day that celebrates you, but that is also hard for you.

Apparently, men suck.

Mine chose to go away for work for 10 days and then add on another 7. All this after, I told him when Mothers Day was and that I wanted to feel special.

I understand how upset you are, and your feelings are valid.

I empathise and sympathise.

Happy Mothers Day, Queen 💗

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Who bought the gifts from your 6 month old?

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, obviously her husband but you are missing the point.

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I didn't mean it in a bad way at all, just didn't know how to word it, I didn't get anything at all, not even a Happy Mother's Day, but I'm not saying that to say oh OP should be grateful, I was just curious what other husbands do

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@Tanya, AH. Well, if it helps, my partner bought me a small Lego set, didn't wrap it, and gave it to our 3 year old to give to me. No card.

I got a Happy Mothers Day text on the day, like literally just "Happy Mothers Day." He is away for work.

I'd specifically said I wanted to feel special, so yeah, I didn't.

Sadly, I think it's most men, but certainly not all.

My apologies for jumping the gun on your comment.

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no need to apologise, I would have thought the same if I read my comment aswell, I didn't add much context/word it well.

On my first Mother's Day my sister got me gifts and a card from my baby which was so sweet and at the same time kinda made me feel a bit worse that he didn't make any effort at all, and was embarrassed incase they asked what he did 🫣

Thank you yeah it does seem to be most men, and like you say, many mums on here say that we need to tell them and be more specific, but I guess with some of our men it still doesn't sink in or does once or twice but doesn't last long 😵‍💫

I just always think to myself, well he's good in so many other ways and I'm by no means the perfect wife at all either, idk

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🙏

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Happy Belated Mother's Day to all of you, just think, when the kids are a bit older they will do really sweet things themselves and it will be the best 🥺🥰

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I’m sorry that that happened to you, it really sucks.

Thank you 🙏 I just felt crazy and then wanted to see if others thought so coz I felt alone and invisible!

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my husband…

And then he said…. You’re not my mother why would I get you anything? 😳🤯

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it definitely does blow your mind doesn't it, I really think they don't understand the sacrifices we went through to have their children, and as you say, how we go out of our way to make them feel special. I honestly think their brain is just wired differently

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@Tanya, it's exhausting having to put effort into everything g, including things meant to celebrate us and what me mean to our families.

Like, just once, I'd like to feel special, truly loved, appreciated, and thought of.

It seems like far too much to ask, though, sadly, for a lot of us.

That was really sweet of your sister. Sometimes, I think people asking is the hardest part. How do you not make your partner out to be an ass while also saying "umm, nothing". It's difficult.

That's what I think about my partner too, but hurts a little more each time it happens.

I also didn't get anything last year. Or for my birthday or christmas last year or for Valentines this year. So yeah, honestly, I wasn't expecting anything at all.

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@Kate, thank you.

You are absolutely not crazy. I feel the same when I don't get a gift or thoughtful card. It hurts.

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thank you both…

I provided several gift ideas and or hair/scalp treatment, hair cut, new dressing gown and several really nice baby keepsake items that I loved…

I also would have liked to have breakfast or brunch somewhere or even at home…..

I also suggested having the night off for feeding/settling, just one night in baby’s 6months….

But it started at 4 am when I woke to baby monitor… and woke him to ask a question… he doesn’t answer and falls back to sleep… I wake him again… he doesn’t answer… so crack it and say…. Happy Mother’s Day and walk out…. Then he cracks it at me coz I’m upset

I didn’t go back to bed after that nd continued to settle and settle until I just slept in the nursing chair with baby to get him to sleep.

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I guess my expectation was based on how I used to do Mother’s Day for my mum and what I saw an experienced….

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My 3 cousins all put in for a nice little bouquet 💐 which was nice of them, they are all mothers and I guess know what it’s like!!

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Having a bit of a sad day

I don’t know if I want advice or just to get it out a bit.
I had a bit of a rubbish Mother’s Day, and then today had a falling out with my mum.
Very long story short, me and my partner turn 30 this year and were thinking of taking a short trip (2-3 days max) just the two of us to celebrate. Our son will be 2 by then.
We had discussed leaving our son with our parents and them sort of splitting having him (eg. My mum has him one night and my boyfriend’s mum has him the other two nights, or whatever we collectively decide on). They are both happy to do this.

Yesterday my MIL was pushing my son’s pram and got distracted and pushed it off the pavement into the road, a car missed the pram by about 5 seconds. This upset me a lot.

Me and my partner discussed this later on and I said it worries me leaving our son with her in case she does something like that. We also discussed the fact that my mum pays very little attention to our son when she’s with him and is absolutely glued to her phone (looking at social media etc) so we might just take him on holiday with us.

Then this morning I had a chat with my mum and told her we would probably just take our son away with us. She asked why and I mentioned the pram thing with my MIL so she said she would just have him- so I thought it was time to mention that when she’s with him she is glued to her phone and gets distracted and that it just worries me a bit. (For reference she’s been watching him before and because she’s been on her phone he’s managed to get half way up her stairs.)
She absolutely lost it at me. Called me rude etc.

I try so hard not to upset anyone and I’m just so so fed up now. I just wish it was simple and we could trust them to take care of him but they are both away with the fairies.

I want to talk to my mum but i don’t know how to approach it now. Just feel like i need a big cry.

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