Unfucking real, how rude is my neighbour!!

Wow this is wild because even without being sleep trained I know so many people with babies who scream and cry throughout the night, sometimes non stop, especially when they are going through regressions, teething, colic etc. Glad you told her to fuck off, hopefully it will deter her from coming back 😑 I don’t think you need to do anything tbh, I would continue to do whatever I thought was best for my family and ignore miserable people like her as much as possible

How old is your baby? Waking that often is completely normal, babies cry because they have no other way of communicating. Please look into the impact this sort of sleep training has 🥺

Also on your neighbour if I could hear a young baby crying for any period of time I would go round, mainly to check everything is ok. They may be concerned, but also yes babies cry but generally not for more than a minute or so as long as there needs are met

@Sally he's nearly 5 months and believe me babies do cry for more than a minute. I have a toddler and he was constant cryer day and night. My second doesn't cry much but he's gone through the regression early and we were in it for 6 weeks. When a baby has been changed, fed, winded and had comfort if they cry after that its normally because they want to stay in your arms..this isn't practical all night. We don't feel comfortable co sleeping as we tried that and had a scare. So no... I'm sorry I don't believe her intentions were to see if the baby was ok, she was shouting to quieten him when it's only been the second night of her interrupted sleep.

@Marria I know right. It astounds me how people can be so selfish because it interrupts their night so they just bang on the door to say quiet the baby. :(

@Sam they might cry for more than a minute but surely that’s normal when they’ve been inside of us for so long? I have a toddler too, 2 under 2 for me and it’s roughhhh but It won’t be forever. If it was the other way around and you were on night 2 of hearing a baby crying for someone to attend to them and the cries continuing would you go round? I know I would. Your neighbour should have gone about it in a different manner of course, but I think if I heard a baby crying 2 nights in a row without any intervention I’d be pretty pissed too !

Wait a minute who said no intervention?!! I said feber training. Not crying it out method. And seriously no I wouldn't go round after just two nights (not crying all night) because it's not my place to intervene with a family when prior to that I heard no crying and knowing that babies go through regression, illnesses etc.. it's normal for them to be unsettled. I'm a tired mum and going to hit the hay now because my baby is asleep

@Sally this is not true. Babies can cry for ages for so many different reasons. My first had reflux and would scream non stop if he was put down but holding him and sitting up all night was not sustainable so yes he would sometimes have longer bouts of crying. We would be up every night from 11-4am. It is safer to walk away from your baby whilst you gather your emotions when it feels pretty rough, which was me so many nights. I had no help back then. You sound like you’ve had a good experience but to say babies don’t cry for a long time is a bit naive. My son had a really bad explosive nappy the other night, I had no choice but to have to bathe him in the middle of the night, from start to finish I feel like he must have been crying for 20-30 minutes even when picked up because he was just tired and wanted to go back to sleep. We were all exhausted, if my neighbour knocked on my door late at night when this hasn’t been a prolonged pattern of crying, I would be pretty pissed

Not sure this was a post to judge the feber method or judge anyone who does it!🤣 I have a toddler too who has complex medical needs and I have had ro leave my baby crying multiple times so that I can do his nebuliser, physio, meds etc. it is a last resort however sometimes it is very much needed. Your neighbour iw totally rude and it’s not come from a good place. Some people love to moan and be nosey. Keep doing what you’re doing and what’s best for your family. It I heard a baby crying at that time i would feel extremely upset and sorry for the mum too. X

I know that if my baby cries my neighbours can hear her and it makes me uncomfortable every time but sometimes you can't help it because they'll cry even though you've attended all their needs + you're rocking them because they're in pain or whatever, who knows? But babies do cry even when rocked for sure. So yes, I understand it can be annoying to be woken up in the middle of the night by your neighbour's baby but still, it's a baby so she shouldn't be saying anything really and assume you're doing the best that you can. Sorry you're going through that, it's not nice.

I think the neighbor reacted because she was annoyed, not out of genuine concern for the baby. Her approach lacked sensitivity. So very good of you to tell her to FO. Babies cry, and when we live in a community so we have to put up with things. And just to mention about what Sally said, I once had a neighbor whose baby cried for hours in the evenings. I honestly just felt for the mum. One day I saw her in the street and, very gently, I recommended a course that had helped me with mine. She was actually really grateful. So there’s ways of saying things.

@Marria well said, I couldn't articulate that well at that time. I'm still so tired and shaken by it all. I even had my other neighbour who saw me this morning ask if I was ok as they could hear the other neighbour bang so intrusively. I'm just glad she didn't wake my toddler up. And yes totally good point about relux. I forgot all about that. X

@Incognito thank you. I guess I turned here for the supor Thur forgot there's always one or two judgy mums or the amazing ones who never had issues with their babies. Thank you for the support. I turn here because sadly we have no help, two under two and to top of all of I got diagnosed with a blood clot. When that neighbour did what she did and after I got my boy asleep, I literally cried myself to sleep. It's so tough being a mama and that's when things go smoothly, let alone the extra bs. X

Thank you for the support. I am dreading tonight now though :( x

That's so true, not genuine concern for the baby. What's mad is she was once a mum so surely should understand. That's kind of you suggesting that to that mum. The works is a tough place and people I feel have changed so much more since the pandemic that we need to come together and if anything be kind. Thank you for the support. X

Not for everyone but maybe try co sleeping

Not judging but your baby is waking as they are learning to link sleep cycles - feels like hell but it will pass

I mean I would be annoyed if the neighbour came knocking on my door. But you keep saying “only” the second night of her sleep being interrupted when in all fairness why should she care what kind of training your doing for baby? It’s not her baby and she didn’t sign up for sleepless nights. I’d be pissed if my neighbours came round and I would most likely give them the same reaction you did, but I’d get why they’re peeved at the same time. Being thoughtful and kind works both ways you don’t know what kind of day she may of had, or anything tough she may be going through either. May be worth a conversation when you see her next to clear the air?

She should get ear plugs and sit in her closet. You’re in your own home with a baby and babies cry. She sounds like an awful neighbour.