Toxic mother

My mother has to be center of attention and will ruin anything where the spot light isn't on her. She'll find a way to start an argument all birthdays, every Christmas and any event that isn't for her. Even trips out. It's so draining. I'm currently pregnant and she has to ruin every happy moment of my pregnancy just like she ruins every other happy moment in anyone lives. But, it's never her fault it's always everyone else's. I know I need to cut contact with her and I probably will do before babies here. I just wish she was different. There is no talking to her at all. Believe me I've tried. If you try and explain why you're upset she'll say you're bullying me and attacking me. She hangs up the phone call when ever she feels like it as well. And only really calls when she wants to rant about something. I won't allow her near my child with the way she's acting especially not knowing the pain and trauma she caused me during my childhood. I've told her to change or she won't see my baby, and she called me a controlling b!tch. I regret telling her I'm pregnant. I wish I never did. A part of me had hoped that would be different this time that my child would have a good grandma and that she could be a good mother finally but it was all make belief and I'm just allowing myself to get hurt by speaking to her. I've struggled a lot with Mental illness which has come from a traumatic child hood at the hands of my own mother. My mental illness seemed to have declined when I got pregnant and I'm not coping as it is. I just wish I had my Mum