vent. not looking for advice.

I feel the same. Sending love ❤️

I know this all too well. I don’t for in with my family. Never have. I’m the black sheep so to speak. I never felt valued as a person. I’m oversensitive, I’m this or that. My mother was and still is my biggest critic and I’m sick of it. My husband is noticing it too and said she’s just downright nasty I really never felt loved until I had my son. That love and bond is so deep and I’m only alive tonight because of him 🫶🏻

I also want to add for me as a late diagnosed autistic person… who has had several relationships with narcissists… I very much relate… narcissists loved me as an undiagnosed autistic person…cuz i didn’t see the abuse for so long… but yeah I feel the exact same in the way that i know I’m a good person but what does it even mean to be a person? Like it’s foreign concept. And a lot of us autistics also hate to be perceived… I am on the agoraphobic spectrum probably cuz of my autism mixed with trauma from narcissists… so yeah.. it’s hard… I feel you

@Lyss yeah I’m autistic and growing full blown agoraphobic, again. So yeah. Death sounds nice.

Yeah sucide idealization- i totally get it… being a parent though I had to flip the narrative and now I’m living out of spite- i don’t want the narcissists to win

@Lyss I’m just tired. I know no one else would do a decent job raising my child, but people who supposedly love me make me feel like me existing is worse than just dippin out

@Lyss I dunno I’ve been at a baseline of passively suicidal since I was 8 years old, so like dying is on my mind always regardless. And the cost of living; makes living pretty pointless honestly. Spite doesn’t pay the bills.

Yeah I mean suicidal ideation comes with being autistic… I just feel narcissists just make it worse cuz they literally suck the life out of you- they are parasites