Not dignosed

Yes that is VERY typical of adhd.
I've learned not to say no and reword my sentences.

For example:

You can absolutely go to the park today, after you have done your homework.

Yes, of course you can go to this place at any other time, however we unfortunately cannot go at 5.30pm today. Let's plan for when we can next go.


That way, you are not saying NO, and you will have less resistance.




However, once they are already in the anxious, screaming, upset state, I'd wait for them to calm down, then sit next to them at their level. Ot too close but nearby and wait.

Once calm you can start by saying things like:

I'm so sorry, you must be very upset/frustrated/angry/ snoozed that we can not go there today at 5.30. I totally get it and I wish I can make it better for you.
You have a right to be upset/frustrated/angry etc . Is there another way I can help you get rid of this (emotion).
Woukd you like to have a pillow fight with me?
Or punch a boxing bag?
How can I help you feel better emotionally?

Anyway, I've just learned to change my wording, to give choices and be more supportive.


You can also say, you have a choice, we can come here tomorrow afternoon or we could never come here again?
What would you prefer? Its your choice.
Or we can come here next week or we can go and do something fun now for 20mins. However we cant go there today at 5.30pm. What would you choose? Next week or something else that's fun?

Thank you ladies so much, he’s in a much calmer mood today he went to sleep after telling me to leave him alone so I did and waited till he woke up, also my 6 year old is masking a lot of behaviors my son was showing at 6 currnetly she’s ran to her room because she slammed the door on my hand after she smacked me so I brought her into talk to her, she doesn’t show no signs at dads or at school soon as she’s here with me boom like a bomb what’s gone off she getting more violent now but school don’t see nothing but she is the shadow of my son who’s 11 but as they Carnt see anything they Carnt refer her xx

My youngest is starting to exhibit a lot of what you’re saying. I’ve been looking into PDA as well, like the others stated. There’s a lady who talks about demand avoidance that’s been helpful to me. She’s “At Peace Parents” on Facebook at least. Another is “ASD with a G and a T”, hers are more humorous and relatable and At Peace is really informative and nice and she talks a lot about the why of things, and her own experience with her kids.

Aww I will check it out thank you, I’m mentally drained with it as it’s like he gets up at tea time and kicks about his ball or gets upto walk about mid eating his anger is something else he threw his phone on the floor as he got so fustrated I have his appointment for the test in the morning hoping to get answers bye the time he leaves primary next month ready for high school xx

It can be so exhausting. I will have my fingers crossed for the best possible appointment tomorrow! 🩷 love to hear updates if you’re up to it

aww thank you, we attended and he went, he said he was fidgeting, they said wait a few weeks to contact hospital for an appointment, so I rang up straight after they wrote his name down and sending out first appointment for next month for his results they going to wait for cahms to send over his results today and then either tomorrow or Monday she is going text me an appointment ❤️

Good luck on everything!!! I hope the appointment will be sooner rather than later!

I just rang up them and they getting everyone in for July who had an appointment on Thursday so I’m hoping it’s soon thank you 😊

just a matter of weeks! That’s so exciting!

yeah end of July I got the only appointment given for July coz I rang up xx