Porn addicted husband
My husband just told me he has a porn addiction after being caught because I looked through his phone. Yes I know it was an invasion of privacy but there was something in the back of my mind that wouldn’t leave me alone and told me to just check his phone. This is not the first time I have found some kind of porn on his phone. The worst part about is it was live and he was saying things to them. Now I am currently 20 weeks pregnant and maybe I’m overreacting but I am just so hurt and I’m not sure how to feel. He told me it was the first time he actually admitted to me or to himself. He said he te and do therapy because he doesn’t feel comfortable talking to be about it which i get. But i cant help but feel mad and upset and i just want to try and be there for him but I don’t know how. We used to have a great sex life mind you he is in the military so we are apart a lot and I understand he has needs so when we are apart I don’t mind him looking at porn but when we are together I though I was enough for him. It feels like I’m not enough and it might be selfish to say but I’m just so hurt and feel betrayed. Right now that I’m pregnant we have been having sex less not because I don’t want it but because he tells me he’s not in the mood. Then I find out every time he’s on duty on the ship he does masturbate and it kills me because all I want is to have sex with him but he feels strange about the baby. All in all I have no idea what to do he literally cried to me about he feels ashamed about but doesn’t know how to stop and the last thing he’s trying to do is hurt me but in the end I’m still hurt. For anyone who has gone through this or is going through this what can I do to help or help myself feel better?
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so my husband and i just went through something similar, he’s a truck driver and was away from home. Now porn was a hard boundary for me but once he became a driver and would only come home on weekends i bent that boundary. He has been home daily and it was still and issue and ours got a little more personal so i told him if he wanted to get through this that we needed to start couples therapy & he needed to stop. a porn addiction also affects you so i would recommend therapy 100%. feel free to message me
First of all men who say they don’t have sex with their partners because of the baby are absolute Wiesel wet wipes and using that as an excuse. Men can literally say anything they want and people will believe them. I don’t care what anyone says you can sext or FaceTime and have fun and call each other and enjoy each other in so many different ways - porn isn’t needed. he obviously needs help and you don’t deserve a man who doesn’t want you. GOODLUCK with everything xx
This is straight up cheating and he needs help.
You should get him to look into the effects of porn addiction it can cause erectile dysfunction and difficulty orgasming which will definitely affect your sex life. If thats the only issue you guys can work through it. It’s pretty normal for him to make excuses because you’re pregnant theres absolutely nothing wrong with you it’s just how his brain works right now. To rewire that unhealthy mindset around sex especially with you being pregnant you can set boundaries with him, no porn. Tell him you’re going check his phone randomly once in a while to make yourself comfortable. If hes okay with that ofc and tell him you will make videos with or for him to spice things up this can actually help him kinda ween off of porn and create healthier mindset around sex with you. He probably wouldn’t have told you if he wasn’t willing to try to change.
https://cardinalnewmansociety.org/effects-pornography-individuals-marriage-family-community/
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