Husband says he doesn’t find me attractive all the time - need help please
Basically had a row with him because we hardly ever have sex and he said maybe I should put effort into the way I look to make him want to have sex and it’s my job to doll myself up blabla … I’m 7 months postpartum with baby 2 still haven’t
Lost the baby weight actively trying though, my old clothes don’t fit me
So I’m stuck in my gowns for now I can’t afford to buy a new wardrobe I barely have any time to myself I do everything for both kids I do pretty much 95% of the house work and even that 5% he does he leaves half the jobs for me.
I’m crying on the bathroom floor rn feeling like an ugly whale I just feel so low and lonely and I hate this and I’m trying my best not to self harm really struggling idek why I’m writing this here
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I didn’t lose my “baby weight” until after my baby was a year old because I was nursing on demand and not sleeping through the night and my husband never said boo to me about it. I swear most men are so IGNORANT about pregnancy and postpartum.
People who don’t have the *time* and *energy* to meet their own BASIC needs (food, rest, sleep and yes rest and sleep are different needs) can NOT be expected to prioritize higher order needs like sex.
If he wants you to be able to “doll up” he needs to pitch in on housework, get you a gym membership or yoga class or therapy or meditation sessions or regular massages and *parent his own kids* so you get rest and can have the mental space and energy to even think about sex.
He doesn’t realize HE is the problem here, not you.
You. Are. Not. Ugly. Your. Husband is ignorant and has UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. HE CANNOT EXPECT TO TEAR HIS SPOUSE DOWN AND YIELD POSITIVE RESULTS TROM THAT.
IF HE WANTS MORE SEX HE CAN PUT IN THE EFFORT
Message me for more tips 🫶🏻 your body is incredible. You are incredible. You are not the failure here. You are not the failure. You are not the failure.
100% what Rachel said 👇
You aren’t the problem, your husband is being a selfish child and the fact that he thinks saying that to you is going to help very much speaks to his immature mentality. I took over two years before even trying to lose the weight and I knew it bothered my husband a little but he would never say anything or hold it against me because he knew I was going through a lot and also that body that wasn’t as perfect anymore just gave him the most important person in his life. Instead of focusing on what he didn’t like about my body he focused on the changes he did like and gave me all the time and resources I needed to get my body back… even though it will never look the same as before he’s still happy with it. I’m so sorry you are going through this. You are not ugly. Give your body a bit of grace right now and focus on what it gave you. I wish someone would Knock some sense and empathy into your husband.
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