Where do I stand with this?
Found out that my manager has been texting people saying how annoyed she is that I didn’t tell her I was pregnant.
To give a bit of context, I did have reasons:
- it was a very complex high risk start to the pregnancy and I felt uncomfortable even telling my family and friends to start with.
- she was pregnant herself and went off two months early with stress leaving me and another colleague to work round the clock to fix the mess of no work that she hadn’t completed all year and was only uncovered when she disappeared. (I was 4.5 months pregnant at this point)
- I have had hyperemis gravidium and told her I had been hospitalised 6/9 times in the space of three months and not once did she check in to see if I was ok. She even rolled her eyes when I said in a management meeting that o wasn’t 100% and had been in hospital over my annual leave.
- she is a very unprofessional blabber mouth and wouldn’t have kept it quiet when we were having conversations bout viability- it was really horrendous and I didn’t want her sharing that information.
- when I was given the all clear from doctors I came up with a plan with hr to tell my team (I was 5 months at this point) and she was massively overdue her baby. I didn’t want to message her whilst she was potentially in labour.
-it has been a hostile work environment for a while due to her unprofessional approach to management. It’s been felt by others in the team aswell.
To caveat I told HR and one director whilst she was off and they had been amazing in supporting me through what has been a really tough time.
Just feel a bit miffed off that she is going round texting my peers about being angry that I didn’t tell her and she found out off someone else.
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I feel like I am
In trouble, would also like it to stop as I had my reasons.
You are under no obligation to tell anyone about you and your personal life you are by law to tell work by week 25 of your pregnancy which you did you have done nothing wrong she's obviously bitter either feels like her baby thunder was taken or just mardy she didn't get to know the inside scoop left out but again it's not up to her it's your choice who and even when you tell people plus she's off now isn't she so I wouldn't worry mamma you don't need to stress xx
100% agree! Ignore that bitter person and focus on your health and your baby. There’ll always be some sour person in the corner. I can’t believe she can’t just be happy for you 🤦🏽♀️
Ngl, I would also be quite upset if one of my direct reports did not inform me of a pregnancy and I had to find out through someone else (though that obviously does not justify her subsequent behaviour!). It reflects poorly of her leadership/relationship management capabilities.
It sounds like you didn't have a particularly good working relationship to begin with to be honest. You could raise her behaviour to HR, but it will likely just compound the problems rather than resolve them. Is there any chance you could move teams/be line managed by someone else?
Sounds like she will be off on mat leave imminently anyway (as will you) so for the time being I'd try not to let it stress you out.
she was off work when I told work. This is all post her having her baby. She hadn’t been in work for nearly two months by the point I shared the news after my 20week scan.
It’s not that o want to go down a legal route, just totally shocked someone who is on maternity leave would be that bothered about it all. She was having her baby when I told people. It was protected information by hr and the one director due to sensitivities out of my control. Plus she had been off sick for months. Just not impressed.
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