Poly Life challenges

That what I’m still trying to figure out

If you are a Non Monogamous person, whatever type of Non Monogamy you practice, you always will be. Even if you don’t practice it, it will show up in your life in other ways. It will always be there, because it is a part of your identity. That’s not something that changes when the NRE wears off, or when jealousy sets in. If you are NM, you will be NM; the only way we deal with it is learning to be ethical about our non-monogamy. And learning to unpack the true motives or trigger to why we are feeling like we do.

It's a struggle for sure. We were ENM but now hubs wants us to be monogamous. I'm struggling immensely.

You are struggling to be NM or struggling to be Monog?

If you know that you are definitely a non monogamous person then yeah, this is difficult. Is hubby non monogamous or was he trying it out? If he actually is NM, then there could be underlying issues which are making him feel uncomfortable or possessive. If he actually isn’t NM, AND wants to now close your relationship then this a huge concern.

We’re a triad my husband and I have a gf who’s amazing however, I’m struggling a bit with watching my husband actively fall in love with her. She has very clearly fallen for us both, I’m in love with my husband and I love her we get along amazing the sexy is great but I’m not in love with her at this time, I don’t doubt it could happen but my struggle is I’ve been my husbands one and only for so long I struggle with the idea that he can love us both the same way.

Maybe because I feel like I’m only in love with him. My recent intrusive thoughts have been why would a man want to marry a woman if she’s not going to me his everything? No I didn’t get into this to please him I’m a bi woman this is a situation where now that I’m in it I’m not sure if this is where I see my forever and if I should come to the place of changing my mind, I don’t want to hurt anyone while also honoring myself.

You can definitely be bisexual without being polyamorous. You can also be bisexual but not biromantic. You can have different levels or philosophies of being non monogamous. You can even experience jealousy within a NM arrangement and still accurately identify as such. All this to say: you have to do some self reflection and work. Once you figure out what’s motivating these feelings, then you need to present them to your spouse in a non threatening way.

Maybe he isn’t loving you in your love language, so you are missing one another. Whatever it is, be sure to communicate your feelings and not bring your girlfriend & husband’s relationship into things. It only brings resentment.