Family bbq - you didn’t receive a message would you still go

His loss, you deserve a proper invitation.

We go through this several times a year🙃 the excuses vary from
-“we thought you knew about it”
-“you didn’t need an invite just show up” despite is not knowing the time & date
-“_____ was supposed to tell you”
-“we figured you’d be going to Lara’s family” well yes they actually invited us

We never go unless we’re explicitly invited, and if anyone asks why we weren’t there we make it very clear that we would’ve liked to have been

With family it’s mainly word of mouth like I know my brother will be there and he’ll bring a friend or 2 but I never invite him personally he hears it from my sisters 💁🏻‍♀️ I only tell one or 2 people and the whole fam comes it’s just assumed that if your family you come to a family party. I dunno that’s us. If I hear it’s my brothers bday at this restaurant on this day because I hear it from my sisters and they’re going then I’ll be going too even though he didn’t personally invite me. I think because we have a big family w no drama I dunno that’s how it works here

I think this depends on your individual relationship and how your family is. On one side, I wouldn't go lol. But if it was the other side, I'd assume the invitation is to all family, even if it wasn't given to me directly

My fam is like this too, they never directly tell me they just assume I’ll be there if someone passes it along . I always go I don’t hold it against them, it doesn’t really bother me
That being said it’s up to you how this makes you feel and what you want to do

I’ve stopped going to a few get togethers bc of this like I don’t want to just get the added on invite thru my MIL when it’s my husbands grandma or uncle hosting events . Just include us in a Groucho’s and we’d attend I’ve always had the same number

To me it depends on how I feel about that person in my family. If they’re rude and mean in general and they do this I simply say to myself. “No invite I’m not coming! If you don’t respect me enough to invite me I’m not showing up”

This sounds petty if he just forgot to send an invite. If you want to go, go.

I’m in between not going and asking. If you want to go then ask if you don’t then I wouldn’t go. But yeah for sure I would feel left out, as even if I don’t want to go is nice to feel included and wanted

We have a family chat where everyone used to put invites to parties etc, but the last year or so people seem to be messaging each other individually and I never get a message. At first, we used to go cos my mum used to let us know the details but then it started to feel like they didn’t want us there so now I plead ignorance and don’t go if someone doesn’t directly tell me the details. I’m not wasting my time if they can message everyone else apart from me 🤷🏽‍♀️