Am I Overreacting?
My baby’s father rarely sees her. Last time he made plans to go out, he never showed up or even told me he wasn’t coming. I spoke to him about it last night, and he said it’s because we aren’t together anymore, and I’m always with her. I’m thinking he has a girlfriend or something, whatever. It’s relevant because we have a notarized agreement stating that we’re doing supervised visits, or visits that I find appropriate.
All of this is to say it’s making me feel antsy about custody. I don’t want him to have my girl without me present. I know he wouldn’t want to until she’s older, she’s only eight months & he honestly doesn’t want to connect with her. He likely will when she’s two, according to what he said in the past.
I texted him last night saying we can talk about him having her unsupervised when she’s older. I’m going to file for custody for real next week. Do you guys think I’m over analyzing the situation? I feel like I have to appease him to avoid him rethinking our agreement. Should I speak to him directly about this concern?
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Hi. Have you saved and screenshot the msgs ? Might help ? As I done same with mine incase it comes in useful for court etc
So he doesn’t see his own daughter because you’re not together? What kind of a “father” does that! I don’t blame you for not wanting to leave your daughter with him, she probably doesn’t recognise him and would get upset - definitely don’t allow him to have his way. You should say if he wants to have her he needs to be seeing her a lot more! X
Well I hope that he knows he’s not going to have the fatherly relationship he wants without putting in the work. If he’s not present and building that connection a 2yo isn’t gonna be jumping for joy when it’s daddy’s visit because she literally won’t know who he is. A kids love isn’t unconditional. Tell him he can put the effort now or not at all. He’s a FATHER. He doesn’t get to pick and choose when it works for him to be a part of his child’s life. He can be a part of it or he can gtfo out be the deadbeat he is. Two year olds don’t understand titles, they understand connection, love and safety.
I'd personally quite bluntly say that if he wants a relationship HE needs to lut the work in and that its now and consistently not in 2 years if and when he feels like it.
An inconsistent and unreliable dad is more damaging than no dad and you should be putting your energy into yourself and your daughter, not having to chase him.
You've agreed on supervised visits but he's using you being there as a reason but (without knowing him my guess) it's probably just an excuse
(I stopped sending my bd any pics/updates/anything unless he asked how she was doing etc. I haven't heard from him since making this decision 9 months ago and it showed how much extra effort I was putting in only to be caused more stress when he let us down again)
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