Lost my identity

I think this is normal but I’ve recently had my second child five months ago and I just feel like I’ve lost myself.
It sounds so silly but I’ve been trying to buy clothes for a holiday next week and I have lost my sense of style, I’ve lost my self esteem, I hate having boobs and trying to find things that you can breastfeed in.
I’m not that much bigger than I was but everything feels bigger and I feel like I’m so out of proportion.
The more I look for things the more down I get and when I just go fine… I’ll just buy something basic, I end up feeling like I look like a stereotypical mum and it makes me more mad because it doesn’t feel like me.
I hate how my hair looks now, I used to be blonde and now I’m back to my natural brown but I feel so plain.
My partner always says he’s attracted to me but it’s been five months (plus more with pregnancy) and we’ve had no intimacy. Was the same after my first, I call myself the Virgin Mary being able to conceive a second.

I just feel disappointed with myself.

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You're not alone in this feeling. I feel very much the same way and this is my 2nd. I look back at pictures of me 5 months postpartum with my first and I look amazing, lost loads of weight, nails done, glossy hair etc I haven't given my nails a quick coat of paint yet this time round.

Everyone needs something from me all day every day that by the time bedtime is done, I just want to curl up in the dark and not be spoken to or touched. I love my girls, they're gorgeous, they make me proud every day but I also just feel in the trenches and like I as an individual have no space to exist at the moment. I keep telling myself it won't be like this forever. But it's rough right now. Sorry, no advice, just know you're not alone! ❤️

I don’t think you should feel disappointed. It’s a phase most of us are going through… but it will be easier in the future when we have more time to actually get ourselves ready / go to hair appointments etc.
I am going through a similar situation (going to a wedding in November…. I have nothing to wear and feel like it’s a waste of money to buy something nice that will definitely be covered in spit up or worse!) and I find it really hard to make any decisions regarding stuff like this.
My hair is seriously thinning at the sides and I feel really self conscious and sad about it.
I guess a lot of us are going through this and we feel invisible right now but … looking at the mums of the 6 year olds and upwards they look happier and healthier… we will get there!

Mmmm… seems like someone just spoke my mind. Feeing same way . I’m just 5 months postpartum

I cried because the support group thing I go to had yoga this week and I was so overwhelmed at getting to do it, how long it's been since I've done anything like that, how distant it seems in terms of getting to do it again.
Also my partner and my son have planned a gaming sesh Friday which used to be our family movie night and it's just automatically planned for me to not be involved because I'll be tending to the baby (EBF and co-sleep so I do bedtime and stay up there).
I feel the same with regards to clothes and struggle to have the energy to focus on lower calorie and nutritious foods.
My first was 14 years ago and back then I didn't really have anything I felt like I was missing out on! He also wasn't as clingy as this gorgeous girl is.
I have to remind myself of some areas of progress, e.g. getting out more with baby. I'm also hoping to join a David Lloyd with a crèche soon which will make a big difference and I'm going to have a look on vinted after payday for some bits that fit!!

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How do I end this friendship

My best friend of 15 years and I are in similar stages of life and her behaviour has gotten increasingly erratic and triggering. I am about to have my first baby and she is struggling with postpartum from her second who was born last August. All the “normal” post partum depression symptoms I totally understand but she has also in my opinion made a lot of selfish choices recently.

She is constantly yelling and berating her husband and kids as well as flying off the handle at the tiniest things and it’s super triggering for me coming from a previous abusive relationship. She’s honestly being abusive to her family.

I feel like she always makes everything about herself and her reasoning has gotten soooo misconstrued. She acts only on her emotions and doesn’t care about anyone else’s. She never accepts any constructive criticism or advice even though she complains 24/7 about everything.

She says she hates being a mom and doesn’t want to be around her kids , hates her marriage, hates her job, and complains 24\7 and refuses to do anything to change. She also makes everything about herself including my baby shower we just had. She’s made rude comments to my spouse as well.

I don’t have many mom friends but at this point she is just not the type of person I want to be around because she is being so mean and wanting to bring everyone down with her. Also I am about to have my first baby and just want to focus on me.