Child biting/ hitting/ being disruptive at nursery

Hey all!

My son is 21 months now and when we dropped him off to nursery this morning they pulled us to the side to say that his behaviour has been really bad recently. He has been biting, hair pulling and generally being disruptive whilst in their care, and now to the point where parents have complained about bite marks on their children.

He is not like this at home and when we have play dates with friends kids he might do the occasional hair pull but nothing to the level they have described to us. He has a lot of energy and really doesn’t like sitting still for long periods of time.

They mentioned that they have had to exclude him from activities due to the disruption, which is obviously not ideal for our child.

Has anyone been through something similar and have any suggestions on what to do? It’s hard to discipline him when these things are not happening in our care but I am keen to learn ways to help him at home.

Thanks!

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I’ve not got any advice but I really really feel for you. I’m a teacher of primary age children and cannot believe they’d think of excluding him from activities at the age he is at rather than trying to work with him to resolve the behaviour, especially when the behaviour isn’t presented at home!
We tend to have the opposite issue, our 18 month old tries to smack at home but doesn’t ever do it at nursery and I can’t seem to get him to stop. 🤯

I would be questioning what they are doing to support him? I understand if he’s being disruptive and obviously I’m not there to see but excluding him from activities is not acceptable in my eyes. He’s 21 months. More understandable for a 10 year old but definitely not his age. I work in a nursery setting and that is not a way to stop this behaviour. In fact excluding him could be a bit like throwing fuel to fire.
There are many reasons why a child can bite. It may not just be discipline he needs. Please do a little research and maybe plan a meeting with your
Childcare provider and come up with a little plan moving forward. He may need a little closer support, with reassurance and positive reinforcement with help communicating with his peer. X

All behaviour is communication. I would be asking them to work out what the triggers are as to attempt to work out why he displays certain behaviour and go from there

Hey, as someone who used to work in nurseries, I just want to say this is SO common! I’m sure your son is not the only one in the class

Around this age, there are so many reasons children bite - (1) teething, the obvious one, (2) they are feeling big feelings but not yet able to express them, so sometimes a bite is a easy way to quickly communicate how they feel, (3) they’re beginning to talk so exploring their new teeth and their mouths through biting is common

If your son is biting at nursery but not at home, it sounds to me maybe like number 2 might be the reason for him. Nurseries can feel quite socially overwhelming and tiring (even for adults), so it may be that he’s losing his temper a little sooner at nursery because of the heightened emotions and more intense environment. I’ve seen children bite other children before as a quick way to say “that’s my toy”for example. That’s for the nursery to respond to. I’m sure he will grow out of it, as many children before him have 💛

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