Mum guilt

I’m in the same boat I feel the same

Aaaww.
Give yourselves some grace ladies and be proud that you actually decided to leave and you did and never looked back. It's not easy at all to do what you've done. The kids will be fine and especially because thry are so young they'll bounce back quick. Whatever happened you can't redo but keep going. Xx

I’m right where you’re at. It’s hard to get rid of the guilt. FWIW, I’ve talked to a lot of therapists, psychiatrists, and child psychologists and behavioral specialists (we all have a lot to get over..), and they said it was really good that I left before my eldest was 2 bc he likely won’t remember most of it and won’t be impacted by it. He’s now 2y 3m and thriving. (Little dude is only 6m and I left when he was 2m so he’s not really been impacted other than stress and anxiety in utero and was then too small to really absorb anything or at least I hope)

Oh wow, what you describe is just impressive. Well done on getting out. I’m sorry you had to go through this. I understand your feelings, they are valid. When we are being abused, it’s difficult to be clear headed. It took a lot of willpower to be able to see it and leave. You can talk about this with your son; maybe now in a very light way and later in other child appropriate ways. Professionals can help

Also sometimes when others don’t take responsibility (ie his dad), it’s almost as if the guilt they should be feeling is floating around and good people (ie you) feel it instead. He should be the one that’s feeling guilty. Remind yourself of that often

My parents got divorced when I was 2/3ish, I don’t remember them being together at all! I literally have no recollection of it and never will. All your bubba will remember is that you love him, that’s it! I remember my mum and dad both always loved me, I remember the giggles and the happy bits not the rubbish ones! Maybe I am just fortunate but I honestly don’t think it will impact your bubba long term. It’s more you it will bother, and that’s completely fair enough 🩷 but you’ve now got what another 16 years to enjoy with them before they are an adult… I’d say the rest of your years is much more important than the few where they won’t remember!xx