Tantrums?

I remind myself that at this age, little ones literally don’t have the brain wiring yet to regulate their emotions. The part of the brain that controls impulse and self-soothing (the prefrontal cortex) is still developing and won’t fully mature for years. So when they slam their head or hit, it’s not manipulation — it’s pure overwhelm.

Our job in those moments isn’t to “fix” the behavior right away but to be the calm, steady presence they can borrow regulation from. By protecting them from hurting themselves, staying calm, and meeting the core need (comfort, hunger, frustration, fatigue), we show them safety.

Research in child development and attachment shows that when kids experience big feelings and are still met with patience, warmth, and consistent care, their brains actually learn emotional regulation faster. They internalize that sense of “I’m safe even when I lose control,” which builds long-term resilience and secure attachment.

It takes repetition a lot of it but worth it

My 17 month old does the same thing. It’s hard if he’s bitten me, I tell him no, and take a few steps to the side - he will then start hitting his head on the floor from being upset. But he seems to be slowly learning, he even shakes his own finger and says no afterwards as if he’s just remembered that he can’t do that. I just try to tell him he can stomp when he’s angry and we stomp together to get all the frustration out.
Im sure they will grow out of it, it’s just not nice to see them hurt themselves (or us 😅)