I regret getting pregnant

I hear you

Well it takes 2 to make a baby, he needs to take responsibility for it. He's just adding more stress on u, when he could just grow a pair. I understand getting pregnant/being pregnant can feel like such a burden, but once that baby is born you'll love that u didnt give up. U would regret it more getting an abortion than just having it. When u get to hold them its like nothing else matters at the moment. Are you on any depression meds? Im on some rn cuz mine has been terrible, all I think about is wouldn't his life be better off without me & this new baby in it. But I also have a son and he has been my reason to stay. Ur hormones going crazy while being pregnant and for a while after giving birth. Do u keep urself busy?

I’m not on any antidepressants. I got off them when I got pregnant because the ones that work best for me there’s not enough research on how they affect pregnant women are the babies. I really think it’s just this federal lockdown that’s just making everything 100 times worse. I have nothing to keep myself busy with because all of my friends and family with thousands of miles away.

I’m sorry that you’re going through this, your husband needs to talk about what he’s feeling, not necessarily to you,but to someone like a therapist. it’s not fair that he’s putting his stress about the situation onto you. He should be taking on that husband role and supporting you, not making you feel bad about wanting to keep your baby because that’s your right and you’re not wrong for wanting that nor should you feel like you have to hide your feelings from him. Couples therapy might help let out some feelings on both sides, but in terms of right now take care of yourself as baby is gonna need you, parenthood is very tough and as mothers we got to learn how to take care of ourselves so we can take care of them. Your feelings and YOU are very valid. ❤️

Maybe try some herbs like lavender, chamomile, and lemon balm. But talk to ur doctor 1st, just in case. My antidepressants aren't the best to take while being pregnant but if im not on them, I get nth done and all I think about is kms plus where im at rn doesn't help. But if u ever just need to talk im here. Just hmu

I'm sure the financial stuff is not helping either. I know having work/income stability is huge for guys too. I hope everything gets better soon. Hugs. 🩷 Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

You’re feeling the same things so feel them together. Hold him and cry with him for his loss as he holds you and cries with you for yours.
Then remember that it’s only 3 years of clingy hell before they gain more independence and can start doing clubs ect, then school not long after, maybe even holiday clubs, sleep overs.
Once they are 5 they are a little friend some of the time. The fun increases (as long as you manage to be there for them and consistent ect. Through all the hard times of the younger years). You didn’t not get to do the things you wanted to. You had to delay doing the things you wanted to. Once they’re old enough you can think about boarding schools or whatever works for you both.

Sending hugs. Sending all the hugs and love

He is almost 100% likely the problem.

Anyone who would say that to his pregnant wife is not a nice person.

And the fact that you have an instinct that your one friend will hate him? Means he probably is hateable, not just for this incident, but for a lot.

The fights over the move and the baby shower are probably on purpose TO stress you and TO cause you anxiety and TO punish you.

Punish you for what? For nothing that you did or are. You’re being punished for the hollowness inside himself that will never be filled or fixed, and he has decided to make you stressed, anxious, and regretful on purpose for his amusement. All so he can say “I’m feeling all your pain, you’re hurting meee, you’re stressing meeeee”.

This is manipulation.

The nice things he has done in the past are probably fake, and the moody person you see is his real self.

I’m sorry he’s doing this to you.
Are you able at all to move back with your fam?

Please look up or like ask ChatGPT the longest lists/quizzes you can find to see if he is doing coercive control or narcissistic behavior. Please please please. 💜

I have been dirt poor and stressed before, and I would never say what he is saying. ever. Especially to my loved one who is pregnant.

Stress is no excuse.

Check the lists and carefully. “Controlling” doesn’t always mean “don’t hang out with your friends.” It can mean telling you to go out BUT acting moody and quiet a lot so that you stay home.

You can tell a lot by how you feel. Do you feel drained and confused and guilty and stressed after a discussion about your feelings or needs or basic plans? If so, he’s not a good partner. He’s confusing and draining you on purpose.

💙

Look up @Synful on fb, look up Dr Ramani. Lots of videos on Facebook about this will be familiar if you have (and I’m 100% sure you do have) a manipulative partner. If you do, you can’t bring him to therapy, they just fake it.