Dealing with exs?
How do you deal with a ex who still loves? Me and my kids dad broke up 4 months ago. He broke up with me… So since we’ve broken up he’s only seen the kids once a month. His excuse? He’s had no money or no one to give him a life over. Honestly doesn’t bother me I’ve always known he’s useless.
What’s bothering me is after he’s been to visit the kids a few days later he’s messaging me saying he misses me and still loves me. Once he messaged me to say that a part of him want a to get back together and a part of him doesn’t. He says losing me was worse than looking his dead mother. That he misses me more than our kids. He keeps begging for me to say I still love him… but I don’t.
I’m honestly over it and him being like this is exhausting. I’ve tired being nice about it and I’ve tried being a bitch about it but he just can’t seem to get it into his head that I don’t love him and don’t want to get back together with him. I’ve had enough of the mind games and I’ve finally realised I deserve better and for now I’m just focusing on me and my kids.
He seems to have it in his head that I’m still just mad and I still love him. But I don’t I only acting nice for the sake of our kids. If we didn’t have kids I would have ignored his arse and blocked him months ago. Now we’ve broken up I realise I don’t even like him as a friend and have no idea why we’re were together for as long as we were.
Just the whole thing is pissing me off. I’m trying to move on but he’s doing his best to make it as hard as possible
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My ex husband went crazy after I finally left him and he realized there was 0 chance of us getting back together. He even used the kids to try and demand communication and guilt trip me. The best thing I did was completely ignore it. If the texts weren’t about the kids? Ignored. If the calls weren’t about the kids? Hang up. Visits? Not at my house. I had to make him completely inaccessible to me, but accessible to our kids and that was hard but doable. I wanted to snap back so many times but I realized that’s all he wanted, a response and reaction from me. He made everything difficult if not impossible, like signing divorce papers. He waited so long to sign those damn papers I was less than a year from getting remarried before he actually did sign. That’s how delusional he was. He’d threaten to not pay me child support if I didn’t talk to him.. cool I’ll go to court and get it. You have to take yourself out of the equation completely.
Stay consistent. He will get past it. Men have more of a tendency to leave quickly and grieve later. Women are more likely to grieve immediately and then be over it for good. It took my ex over two years to stop saying he wants us back together and occasionally cry to me about it. I just stayed unemotional and consistent with my no.
The way he describes relationships causes me to squint my eyes. Saying he misses you more than his dead mother and that he misses you more than y’all’s kids just sounds unnatural and weirdly controlling.
This is my son’s dad also, we can’t even be in the same room because he’s an opportunist. Any time I text him anything myself instead of my mom it’s always something, hoping one day it dies off
Can you ignore messages that are not about the kids?? If you see his message and it’s not about the child can you not open at all?? Let them stay unread until he gets it. If he calls answer to listen if it’s about the child but hang up if it’s not about the child, make your actions clear until he gets it. Ignore the hell out of him
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