Does your 4 year old throw a lot of tantrums?

My 4 year old has good and bad days. He’s also level 1 autistic, very high functioning and for the most part, with therapy and overall patience and understanding he’s been improving, but there are still days where it feels like all progress is out the window and we’re back at square one 😭 . He has good and bad days at daycare, but the bad days are low key embarrassing because his teachers will tell me that he screams, yells, throws, hits and I’m like 😭I’m trying and so is he….

4 is rough. They have the capacity for a lot of understanding and not a lot of regulation skills yet. I can’t speak to autism at all though.

I suspect my son is also neurodivergent (adhd for sure, possibly audhd). He has meltdowns more so than tantrums but you deal with them in pretty much the same way, so I’ve been following a lot of advice for “strong willed children.” They need more connection, understanding, patience, co-regulation, and also freedom (seems counterintuitive I know).

When they are fairly regulated and someone tries to micromanage them or shift their focus it can trigger meltdowns, so I’ve learned to pick my battles (like on the 24th I let him wear a Halloween onesie to run errands because it was pretty inconsequential in the grand scheme of things).

My 4yo has adhd and maybe odd, maybe also asd, not sure yet. It’s HARD. My daughter is audhd and nonverbal. Neurodiverse kids are on another level of specialized parenting requirements. I have been everything from speech therapist, feeding therapist, occupational therapist, 1:1 tutor, medical appointment transportation, administrator who argues with insurance, to educational advocate. AND my husband appears to be high functioning asd and I seem to be audhd, neither of us are diagnosed. I don’t know whether it gets easier as they get older because I’m in the thick of it with you. Join an online support group. It helps.

My one year old does 😂🤣 like ALOT