AITA?

We need a break too. It’s exhausting being a mumma. I don’t know if it’s men that don’t get it or if my partner is just that way .

This is one of the reasons I split w my ex. However when my dad had my daughter and he struggled with her he 1) called me and told me. I chose to come home early. He answered the door with a helpless smile I laughed he laughed we all cried from being overwhelmed he told me he really did try I said it’s ok took her back and that was it. It’s the way people handle it. Do not be angry with me because u can’t handle ur own kid be angry with urself how dare he ruin ur night

He needs to grow up and learn to be a dad. I honestly don't know why dad's want it all on mom's sometimes

When I (rarely) go out it’s the same, my husband ends up pretty much holding little one the whole time. Is it hard for him? Yes, especially as we also have an older one. But if that’s what works, that’s what happens. As you say, we are also allowed a break so it’s our other half’s responsibility to deal with it when we do.
He is an a-hole for making you feel guilty. Conversely, he was probably stressed and feeling like a failure so he likely took his own inadequacies out on you; thats not okay but also understandable.

Don’t let this put you off of going out again - he can learn. You are def not the a-hole ❤️

I don't think you ata. In my opinion your husband is because he blames you for going out once. How often is he out with his friends? How often does he spend time doing his hobbies?
A real dad is not just "helping out" when you need time for yourself, a real dad shares the responsibility with you. And in that case it was his responsibility. If he can't settle her there might be a reason, maybe your little one is not used to him ... But that's not your fault. That means, something needs to change and he should get more involved?
Because mainly I took care of our little boy and put him to sleep most of the time for the first 5 months until I started work again, he didn't settle well when his dad put him to sleep once in a while. He had a hard time with that and felt like he failed. That's when we both agreed that we share the bedtime routine 50:50 and alternate every day, so baby gets used to both parents. That works perfectly and none of us has problems settling our little one.