My boyfriend called me his “buddy” to friends
So my boyfriend’s best friend since high school and I have literally never met. Been together about 2 years, he lives with me, and I have never met the guy. He comes over and won’t come inside. I drive my bf up to his house and he won’t come out until I drive away.
This is mainly because his best friend’s girlfriend is friends with my bfs ex, who is unhinged and not over my boyfriend. (Long story, we will skip the crazy ex drama).
Anyways, I found out today that when my boyfriend mentions me, his friends girlfriend gets super pissed off and they fight, and then his friend sleeps on the couch in his own home that he solely owns, and it’s damaging their friendship because they can’t communicate about things as much or share like they used to. They aren’t even as active in each other lives because I’m not allowed around, and my bf is always with me unless it’s their guys night (also his gfs fault because she gets pissed when he hangs out with friends and is always raging during their guys night). Because of this, any story involving me has been adapted to be a story about my boyfriend’s “buddy.” Other friends in their group have also started referring to me as his “buddy” in conversation.
I addressed this with my boyfriend and basically said I’m not okay being hidden to make two women I do not know feel better about themselves because they can’t accept his relationship with his ex ended like four years ago. I told him that referencing me as a buddy leaves the door open for them to think he’s not as serious about me as he is, but it also just makes me feel shitty. I didn’t do anything except exist and fall in love, and he’s covering me up to please his ex.
(Granted, this isn’t why he does it. He’s doing it to avoid conflict with the friend. But I know his ex thinks different, and she sees open doors on bolted doors).
He agreed to talk to his friend, and mentioned his friend actually said something similar about feeling like he’s the butt of the joke because he’s not stupid and he knows “buddy” is code for me and is like “just say your girlfriend” instead of everyone tip toeing around him.
I just kind of wanted to see what other people think about this though. Should I not care so much and be more understanding?
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wait is he still seeing his ex whenever he goes over to his friends house?? if so that would definitely bother me a lot. and imo his friend’s girlfriend needs to grow the fuck up. how can someone be so bothered by someone’s name merely being mentioned, like she’s not even the one who dated him.. your bf shouldn’t have to make a code word for you to please another woman, and quite honestly this friend needs to tell his girlfriend to calm tf down cause it’s not that serious to be acting like that and she’s doing the most for something that doesn’t even involve her😭
Yeah he needs to stand up for you and stand his ground. You have a child together (I assume). You come first. He shouldn’t care that it causes conflict to a literal crazy woman (the friend)
No do not be more understanding
There's no good excuse for this in my opinion
He needs to have your back no matter what
This honestly just all sounds so childish. He should stand up for you and she needs to grow up.
Ummmm I sense he’s hiding something and these are big red flags
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