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First time mums

3.5 year old ignoring people

Hi all my 3.5 year old just full on blanks/ignores people to the point I’m now finding it a little embarrassing. At first I thought it was a phase but this has now been happening a long time. I know he is still learning how to socialise but this is also with family members and friends that he sees on a regular basis. His hairdresser that he sees once every 5ish weeks for the past 2.5 years even asked me if he can speak today because my boy just makes no sound whatsoever bless him and they really do try with them. Family and friends make so much effort to engage with him and he just ignores them and clings to me and whispers in my ear he wants to go home. My dad was talking to him today and my boy just full on slapped him (also another thing I’m concerned over) because I think he just felt overwhelmed. I have noticed that if we are at home then he can still ignore people but nowhere near as bad. He always chats away to me and my husband although he is well known to ignore some of our requests (what toddler doesn’t?). I’m not sure if this is normal or if I should be concerned? I am really worried about him starting school. I will add the childminder, family and friends are now all commenting on it. At home he is so hyperactive and then you take him round someone’s house and he almost just freezes.