Boyfriend issue
So my boyfriend had emotionally cheated on me a few years ago. He was inappropriately texting a woman from his past. From the information I collected, from both parties, there was never any physical cheating. I found out via the other woman sending me a Facebook message and receipts of the convos. We broke up for a short time period and he started going to therapy. We ended up getting back together and now have 1 baby together and 1 on the way. Our relationship has been fairly good since that occurrence a few years back. The other day when he got home from work, he told me an old friend randomly reached out to him. He kept saying “this person” so of course I knew it was a female. He let me read the messages and they were all innocent but I’m not naive to knowing messages can be deleted. So I was asking just a few questions to clarify / gain reassurance and it turned into a fricken huge fight. He was mad at me for asking more questions when he was simply “doing the right thing” and letting me know. I told him I appreciate the transparency but the fact that I’m expected to not ask any follow up questions is baffling. He said that situations like this make him not want to be a “good guy” because he’s still being looked at negatively. The only thing we have talked about since the fight two nights ago was me asking if he could snow blow the driveway so I can get him it baby safely off to daycare. He’s been sleeping on the couch and me in our bed.
It just makes me sick that I am such a horrible person for asking clarifying questions. Am I in the wrong here? I feel like most people, man or woman (especially if there has been trust issues in the past), would ask some follow up questions when not fully understanding the context of the situation. Before I learned of the inappropriate messages with the other woman, he blocked a guy from my past that reached out to me to say hi. Talk about a double standard.
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Literally was in the exact same situation. Let that nigga sleep on the couch. If he was really the good guy explaining should be no problem and you're pregnant so duh heavy on the reassurance especially considering past trust issues. But if that's how he feels this tells you about how he's going to handle conflict moving forward. He might be avoidant attachment style... Ms ma'am read up on that shit and move accordingly. Wishing you all the luck in the world my love 💕
Pls consider an abortion if you’re not too far along and are willing to make that choice. I’m sorry but this man is gonna cause more stress and pain for you, how will having another child with him make it better?
Also the “good guy” shit? No good person has to explicitly say they’re good for you to believe it. He’s abusive and controlling.
Your feelings are entirely valid. I was in the same boat and we had called off the engagement between my fiance and I because of it. We eventually had an agreement and have been working on honesty and being more open with each other. I’ve told him it will take me some time to be able to trust him fully with talking to other girls, but if I don’t trust them, there is a reason. So he lets me unfollow/unfriend females that I don’t trust and I appreciate it since it builds the trusts back up. Your feelings are SO valid. He needs to understand that it’s a trust thing. You need to be open with him about it and if he says, “well that was in the past I’m a good guy” if he is and you don’t trust the girl then he would unfollow/unfriend those females.
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