5 year old phase or something else?
Has anyone else experienced their 5 year old being really mean to them? The short version is I had a second baby and all was good for the first year and change. Then I had to leave to see my brother in the hospital- first time I left overnight without him. After that he wants nothing to do with me. He says mean things- for example today he told me I had no friends. I just moved to a new state that I absolutely hate and have no family or support (only my husbands family that barely shows up even though we are literally within walking distance of them). He says he only wants his dad, he told me I should leave the house and never ever cone home, one time we were sitting on the couch no one else in the room and he told me to get away once he realized it was just him and I.
He’s becoming a kid I don’t recognize and it’s breaking me.
Sometimes everything is fine and we play and cuddle like normal but then he will switch and just have this deep contempt for me. I have tried everything, literally. Sometimes these things work for the moment but then he reverts back. He is my son and my baby so nothing is going to make me stoop or stop loving him and caring but it is creating this hurt inside me that makes me want to stay away and not allow him to hurt me. I don’t want that, I just want my old relationship and love that was there.
I think the only way to fix this would be to go to Florida where my family lives without my husband for a while and let our relationship be repaired. That way my mom would be attentive to the baby and I could be attentive to him. At this point I can’t financially do it but as soon as I can I want to go. I want to move there and never ever return. I’m so sad I ever came here in the first place. Covid destroyed my business and forced us to move here for my husbands career, one that he hasn’t had work in for a while so that’s why my son is always preferring him over me.
I have not recovered mentally after having my last baby and this is putting me over the edge. My husband will try to force a resolution right away but I am still upset and not ready so it’s this fake thing that occurs and makes me feel gross to feel that way with my son. This kid that is my whole world, that I would die or kill for. I’m not even seeking advice because I’ve tried everything. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this in any way or how you would handle it. My youngest has been so clingy lately, he’s in that stage where he always wants to be held and only by me. Anyway thank you for reading and for any feedback.
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My 5 year old has also recently started saying mean things. He’s old enough now that he knows what will hurt people’s feelings. Saying things like “I hate you” just literally out of the blue. In my case I can always kind of link it to him not getting enough attention or not having enough choice or control. I think for us it started when he started school, he doesn’t really like school and hates all the rules (even at recess they have so many rules at his school) I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I know my son is looking for attention or a reaction which is why it doesn’t really bother me and I also don’t let him speak to me like that, I always correct it and give him alternate things to say to express how he is feeling so it’s gotten slightly better with me but worse with my mom and sister because they get their feelings hurt and give him these huge reactions and that’s literally what he wants in my case. I hope you figure out the cause, maybe he is struggling with the move too?
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