Failure as a mum of 2
Today was the first day it was just me, my 4 year old girl, and my newborn (3 weeks old) and well I feel like shit. I never should have become a mum, I’m not cut out for it and I have a lot of mum guilt. I told myself I won’t get uptight, I won’t cry and I will do everything I can to just play with my 4 year old, she’s my main priority because I want her to think I’m the best mum in the world.
That did not happen! The baby cried continuously after every chance I got to put her down when she was asleep so she’s been attached to me, my 4 year old pretty much moaned at me all day, cried when I said I didn’t want to go out, called for her dad all the time and didn’t play with one toy but climbed all over the furniture. She’s napping now which I know is witching hour but I’m honestly done. I feel like I’ve failed her and not given her my best. It’s just not fair on her is it.
I know it will all get better and easier but is fair for me to say I’m just not ready to leave the house on my own with two kids because I don’t know what I’m doing, I feel like rubbish and don’t look how I want to look. Am I really a bad mum for being so bad at being a mum?
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Please give yourself grace. Its a big change for everyone and it was your 1st day alone. Your definitely not a bad mom. Do you have a wrap carrier, try putting your baby in that so you can play with your a year old too. Also totally fair to not want to leave the house yet.
I agree give yourself grace. You are not a failure and like you said it was your first day alone. Like most things with time things will become easier.
I'm 9 weeks in with baby and a 3 year old and I promise it gets better 💜 still finding it rough but it feels much less awful and we're finding our feet together! We've started getting smiles from baby and big sister is her favourite person it's so sweet to see. I'm more of a grumpy mummy than I would still like to be but every day one at a time 🤞🏽
3 week old and 3 year old here. She's watched too much Danny Go and played with her toys mostly alone. We do what we can with her. My baby is sick all the time, needs holding up for 30 min+ after a feed and changing constantly. So much laundry. I've been impatient and boring and dismissive. We are still in survival mode x
12 weeks and 3 year old!! And it gets easier. 3 weeks was so hard and we did NOT go out lol. I was being really hard on myself but I've been practicing catching my negative self talk and trying to rephrase to myself each time. A. Nothing lasts forever, this will pass. And B. I'm trying my best and I've never done this before. I think its been helping me to give myself some grace because this is so. dang. hard. You can do this! Sending love and positivity.
Your are not failing if your in NC I stay in Salisbury I’ll go to the park with you 🩷
You’re not failing at all. Newborn stage is survival mode when you only have 1 kid! So add a second into that and you’re just putting out fires all day. I have a 3 and 5 year old and honestly I’ve no idea how we survived when my littlest was born- but you do get through it eventually, stay strong and tomorrow is a new day!
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