Has anyone planned to have a second baby while trying to fix their relationship?
Hi mamas, I’m wondering if anyone has been in a situation like mine…
My relationship isn’t stable at the moment, though we still love each other and want to make things work.
I’ve always wanted my kids to grow up close in age and I’d like to have another baby soon. But I’m feeling uncertain, is it wise to have another baby when the relationship isn’t fully stable?
Even if things don’t work out and I end up raising a second child and a toddler on my own, I’d be okay doing it, even though I know it would be hard.
I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been in a similar situation, how did you navigate it?
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I guess my question would be, did your first impact your relationship? For me, it absolutely did, not to a point where things were really bad but I wouldn't ever choose to have a baby whilst being in a rocky place already. It will put pressure on the relationship 100%. It could push you further apart. What would be important to me would be focusing on my marriage to try to get that back to a good place before trying for another baby. That would be more important to me than a hypothetical ideal age gap. It might be helpful for you both to consider what's more important to you- another child or the relationship. There's no guarantee things will work either way, but I think you give yourselves worse odds by adding a pregnancy then a newborn into the mix. And that's without any potential extra challenges.
Going from 1-2 is extremely hard, so i would definitely say work on your relationship first before trying for another baby
This seems like a terrible idea, tbh.
Can you manage all in your own if it falls apart. Financially etc?
Having more than one baby daddy is not any worse than being a single mom. Have a baby with someone that you're in a stable, loving relationship with. Two is much more difficult than one, you'd be setting yourself and those poor kids up for unnecessary hardship. They will want a stable home with both parents, and their needs should be the priority.
Is it fair to the child to be…. to be born into hardship? Is it fair to you to be pregnant, labor, and raising two kids solo…..especially with the unknown pitfalls that could arise like child disability, job loss due to forced maternity leave, or even death and ur kids being raised by partner? Those are things to consider too.
If it’s going to make you more reliant on him then it’s really not a good idea
I wouldn’t be risking having another baby if your relationship isn’t stable. I’ve always said kids deserve to have a happy home whether that’s mum & dad together or just mum on her own with her kids. It feels a bit like you’re using him to have another baby, and if you wouldn’t manage financially I honestly wouldn’t risk it. I work and struggle with one, which is why I wouldn’t risk having another just yet. X
I wouldn’t xx
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