Wwyd

You lost me at 14 😭

I mean, ultimately your daughter’s safety should be your top priority. If he can’t get behind it then that sounds like a him problem. I would talk to him… and tell him you can’t stop her from having sex but you can stop her from getting pregnant.

I’d have them be two separate issues.

I’d get my daughter on a form of birth control that works for her.
I’d have a separate conversation with her other parent.
All of that would result in a group discussion daughter, me and dad. But I wouldn’t look to a man for approval of reproductive health decisions ever.

I would try talking to him about it first without revealing things she’s told you in confidence. Tell him she’s having painful periods and it can be helpful for that and that as she gets older it wouldn’t be a bad idea to already be on it just in case. If he still says no, I’d put her on it without telling him. If a young woman/older girl makes a medical decision for herself, that her decision and if she’s old enough to be having sex and be smart enough to want to practice safe sex, she’s old and smart enough to make that decision. Her father should not have final say.

I would get them birth control and let their dad know as a courtesy as their father but also let him know he doesn’t get a say on this.

To add this is hypothetical just a WWYD in YOUR situation kinda question for fun !

I would tell her I appreciate her honesty and that I'm glad she came to me instead of hiding it.
Then we'd talk about all the risks that come with having sex even when it's protected. How condoms and bc don't always work, that if she's too embarrassed to be on bc and having this conversation then maybe she shouldn't be making grown up decisions, make her watch a birthing video (I never saw one until I was pregnant), tell her how being on bc could disrupt her cycle/hormones, and tell her that if she's going to be active then she's going to need to be regularly std/sti tested.
Teens are going to want to have sex and be curious. It's our job to make sure they're educated enough to make responsible decisions 👍🏽🤍

I would put her on it 💯

Tell him, and put her on birth control.
I’m not cool wit her having sex so young, but more importantly I don’t want her getting pregnant so young, so bc it is.

Similar to others; discuss the pros and cons of hormonal contraception, find the right one for her, educate her on sex a bit more, maybe speak with the boyfriends parents and tell dad that it’s about her not us.

Then go have a secret little cry that my 14 year old is sexually active.

Well I’d let the dad know unless he wanted to be a grandpa that year, birth control it is

Agree with help with facilitating testing.

Ok here is an alternative question to add on. What if the daughter doesn’t want the dad to know/get involved. Do you still tell him?

She’s already having sex so nothing can change that unless she’s locked in her room 24/7. Although I’m not a fan of kids that young having sex she’s clearly been taught the risks and she wants to make a mature decision by getting on birth control. Instead of sneaking around and risking her health and pregnancy shes being forthcoming, how dad handles this can completely take that away and then he’ll act surprised when she comes home pregnant.

I would tell him, but I wouldn’t make it an option. It would be “she’s sexually active and she wants to be protected so this IS what we are doing.”

Put her on it in secret and pretend you don’t know anything about it.. I believe at least 24 states she does not need parental consent. So if you are in one of those states it is fully her decision at 16 for non surgical bc.
But if you really want to keep it secret from dad an implant may be the way to go which does require some parental consent not sure at what extent. But No daily pill no worrying about dad finding it. You would have to make sure she’s on your insurance and not his. I don’t think he should be allowed to say no. She wants to protect herself from teen pregnancy so I don’t understand why any man would think denying their daughter birth control would stop her from having sex. Thats idiotic. Teenagers always find a way to do what they want no matter what.

100% put her on it. My husband would be fine with it. But hypothetically if he wasn’t, I would do it any way

I wouldn’t ever lie to my spouse. I’d tell him that she’s going on birth control. He can respond however, but that’s what’s happening. It’s her body and her choice. I wouldn’t agree with her choice to have sex that young but I would need her to be safe regardless. And what her father thinks is irrelevant. Her safety is the priority.

Put her on it, have an important non judgmental conversation about respecting herself and her wants and needs. Ask her how she feels about sex, how did it start when did start? Does her father help build up her self esteem. Sex isn’t the worst thing a teenager can do but the reason why is always important. If she respecting and being responsible. At some point You have to start trusting the child you raised.

Absolutely help her get it, no questions asked.
Tell her Dad / your hubby as there shouldn’t be any secrets. If he has a problem he needs to wind his neck in and get over it.
Your daughter is being mature and responsible in coming to you and her decision and should have both of your full support.

she’s already doing it so you’re best to protect her now before anything else. dad can be mad

I put my daughter on it at 14 that’s when she started dating she is 16 now and has been with the same guy since she was 14. They have both said it’s not something they are ready to do (she was in the delivery room when I had her sister last year) but better safe than sorry.

Tell him but help her whatever he says

Totally would put my daughter on birth control and enjoy her trusting me than having to convince a man who obviously is not updated and will probably make it fail and eventually get my daughter pregnant.

I probably wouldn’t tell him it because she’s having sex I’d probably just say to stop her heavy periods or whatever, like I know it happens but he doesn’t really need to know she’s having sex. Aslong as I’m sorting it and putting her on BC

I’d put her on birth control and tell him. He’s a father and cannot be left in the dark, however, you cannot control her even if you get more strict (which will only cause more issues).

You shouldn't lie to your partner unless you really want to risk your relationship. Just talk to him about it an put her on it anyway. Atleast be straight with him

Honestly just be real with him. Would he rather her be safe and be on birth control or end up pregnant as a high schooler? I’m willing to bet he would rather her be safe

Dad can shove it lol if she wants to protect herself then she should be able to. Sorry, dad, be mad.

I don’t think BC should be her dad’s concern. I certainly never discussed BC with my dad in my whole life. As long as she is safe and healthy that should be his concern. And unfortunately as uncomfortable dads will be about their daughters having sex it is going to happen, so it’s better to be safe.

He against birth control? Regardless she will have sex. It is best to educate her on how to be safe and get her on birth control and therapy immediately.

Shes having sex either way, I'd rather her be safe and trusting.

No i have to tell her dad we're married and don't keep secrets from eachother especially involving his own kid. We'd find a compromise or i would make him accept it

You need to sit with your husband with your daughter not being around and explain to him what’s going on. Maybe do it when she’s out or not at school. Being a teen it’s important to feel like she can go to you and him with out fear so she doesn’t hide anything. He can’t yell or punish her. Because she’s just going to go behind your back. Tbh it’s amazing she is comfy coming to talk to you. She could have easily went to planned parenthood and gotten BC for free without your permission or knowledge. I feel it’s important to voice and be able to talk to your parents and to know that if you come asking for help that you won’t get into trouble or be yelled at.

I would let her get it. Id rather have a protected teen than a pregnant teen. Obviously I would explain everything and make sure she got any and all questions answered before getting it, and it's ultimately up to her what she chooses. It's her body.

She came to you, that is amazing. Her coming to you shows her trust. She is comfortable with telling you hard things. I would let her decide AFTER explaining to her why she should wait until she is with a man that plans on making her wife or his forever. If she is living with you she isn’t ready for sex, because at 16 she can’t afford the cost that comes with “the possibilities “. Possible pregnant, possible STD’s and so forth.

Tell her Father.
And, educate her on the pros and cons of making such a big decision.

Tell her to talk to her Father. If she doesn’t then you and dad decide how to handle this together

He wants a 14 year old to get pregnant??? 🤔

lol if he thinks “if we don’t give her the pill she won’t have sex” you can tell him some rando on the web said he is dumb! (And you can just think it really loud!)

Plus 1/4 girls in the USA are assaulted by 25 soooo also this might help her not have a VERY unplanned baby!

—— person who works with sex trafficked girls.

Lmfao girl what? Get that girl on birth control and fuck what he says. Either keel it a secret or don’t, but she needs to be on it. Would he rather she end up a teen mom?!

I don’t recommend keeping something like that from your husband… That’s a big deal. You guys should do a walk/park date so y’all can talk it out and get on the same page somehow

I said tell him and see but I'd be taking her to the doctor for birth control, having a conversation about how to be safe, about consent and about her rights and responsibilpities.

I wouldn't hide it from her Dad and i think unless her Dad is abusive then that is an awful thing to do. He doesn't have a say though, her opinion matters more and if she wants birth control she gets the information and a conversation and then gets to make that choice for herself.

She will be having sex regardless of what you (sorry) backwards thinking husband says. It would be worse for her to come home pregnant than for him to find out about her being on contraception imo.

I would tell my husband I’m booking a gynaecologist appointment to look into birth control for my daughter to help regulate her periods…that’s all. If your daughter wants to tell her dad she’s having sex then let her tell him when she’s ready.

Also, make sure she gets her HPV vaccines.

Hit the wrong button 🤦‍♀️ but sit down and talk as a family not telling the father will cause problems yes he’s not gonna like it but no father ever does it’s not just about letting him also know that she’s sexually active but it helps him realize that his little girl is growing up and there’s gonna be changes coming that he has to be ready for

This a whole lotta question 😂 part of me is wondering why she’s having sex to begin with? And the other part of me is thinking ok she’s comfortable coming to me to talk about this and she knows how sex goes if your not on birth control or if he’s not wearing a condom which is great! Alot of kids don’t know about it nor pay attention in school or what their parents tell them yk but I would talk to dad and see how it goes if he’s not on board oh well just go to the doctor anyways and get it better safe than sorry yk

Tell her dad no matter what we do she’s gonna have sex we would rather her tell us and be safe then sneaking and get pregnant but also make it clear to your daughter sex is not just for fun and have SEVERAL consequences when having unprotected sex and give her some condoms and ask her to use these as well

Absolutely she’s going on it, and I don’t give a shit if he’s against it. (Personally I know my partner wouldn’t be)

I was 14 when I got pregnant with my son. Please put her on birthcontrol. She felt safe enough to come to you, which means you’re doing an amazing job at creating a safe relationship with her. While it’s not acceptable she’s having sex, at least she is trying to be safe. Regardless of what we tell our kids they will do what they want . It’s our job to make sure they are safe . I think dad knowing that she’s on birthcontrol is important.. but I’d rather my daughter not become a teen mom . If my step daughter came to me with this situation I’d 100% put her on birthcontrol and ease her dad into the conversation . (Her mom’s not in the picture) Dads will be mad about their daughter having sex but high-five their son. No matter what most men will only have a negative reaction when it comes to their daughter. So it’s up to you on if he knows or not.

If it were me . I would inform him; not ask him for permission. Then support my daughter and explain her options because its her body. Also explain the risks involved and how to have safe sex. And its your job as parents to make sure she is protected.

So, we had this come up with one of my cousins. Mind you, her parents are very Christian and she's "daddy's little girl"
She started dating a guy in 8th grade and they're juniors in HS now. She opened up to her mom about how things were getting very heated between them so her mom put her on BC and told the dad. He had a heart attack and was upset at first but they're both doing very well in school and sports so its better than getting pregnant and making college/work life more difficult than it already will be