Am i being unfair?
Me and my partner agreed on weekends id sleep in 1 day n he'd sleep in the next, after a while it annoyed me every time i slept in he'd sit in bed with the bay for 30/40 mins screaming next to my ear saying he was tryna get him to sleep, and id only get to sleep til 9/10, when he slept in it was until 11/12
So in the last 2 weeks ive slept in til 9:30 3 times (ive been ill) i make sure my toddler is with me so my partner only has the baby but he keeps saying how its unfair. Last week (during the school holidays) i took the kids to my mums from monday to wednesday, and before that id spent 2 weeks sleeping with baby (and my toddler) in their new beds in their room as baby's turning 6 months and i wanted to get him used to his bed so he got 2 weeks off of any kind of night duty (he changes nappies i feed) then like 3 days off both kids fully. Ive not had any kind of break like that since babies been born because hes extremely clingy, breastfed and wont take bottles. I got no recognition for that, for 5 months i was the only one who could get baby to sleep so my night consisted of bathing voth kids n getting them to bed and i was 'mean' and made him feel bad because i constantly complained that i was tired, wished he'd help and burnt out, then he was moody because when i did get the kids to sleep i went straight to sleep and didnt want 'us time'
When he said oh its not fair you've slept in til 10 the last 2 weeks n i havnt, i said well 1 ive been ill n struggling, 2 the latest ive slept in is 9:20 and 3- as stated above i gave you 2 weeks of undisturbed sleep and 3 days off kid duty he said nothing back i said well i dint hear any kind of thank you for that, how it that fair n he's gone off for a smoke so i assume hes no longer talking to me
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Girl weaponised incompetence is a biiiiiig thing in men for some reason 🥲 have a real chat with him and hopefully he can understand a bit more of the gravity of your contribution vs his
I just really think men don't realise what it's like being the full time parent... where they just get to step in when they want to help, whereas we HAVE to step in until we get that help. My partner is the same where I'm drowning in my own to-do list while he just chills on his days off and when I say anything he says "I am trying! It's like you don't appreciate what I do and you always find something else to complain about". How I explained it to him that made him realise, in a non polite way I said "I'm so sorry!!! That you do a couple bits and I try to give you some more off my list, I'm not making up new jobs in my head, these are ALL my jobs and I'm passing some to you, you're just getting a taste of what I go through". I even said I will write the list if he wants, so he can see I'm not just making things up to make his life more complicated, I'm just trying to uncomplicate mine a bit more so I can finally feel a bit more normal and rested. Your partner needs to realise this too
I do sleep in on a Sunday, which means me talking to LO for 30/40 mins while dad nods away, eventually he'll get up with LO. I then lay awake annoyed, listen to a podcast and get up at 9.
His sleep in, I get up when LO gets up and then he gets up at 10/11
It's great
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