Is he right? I feel like this was wrong.
I was getting ready to go to the gym at like 1am. I'm getting in the shower and I let him know I'm going to the gym. He's like why are you showering to go to the gym, you're gonna get sick. I usually shower before if I didn't shower cause I don't want to sweat and smell. Anyway we stay on the phone and I take a smoke break before going to the train. He tells me I'm a woman and it's not safe and creeps ride the train at night and this is how women get attacked. And he's like when do I ever tell you not to go? Mind you I've gone at this time many times. I like this time because it's empty and I can stay there as long as I want and hog the machines lol. He's like no woman of mine will be outside at this time. You're not selling pussy. He's like if I tell a man not to go over there cause something might happen and he goes, I'm not gonna feel sorry for him. Same thing.
I just feel he could've said it differently and instead it turned into an argument with me crying
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It sounds like he’s concerned for your safety. Maybe he could have been gentler in his approach but you also seem a bit naive to think none of this seems odd or potentially dangerous
I get both sides. I too was a 1-2am gym girl lol. Loved it at those times for rhe same reasons. I would also sometimes go out for a run around the neighborhood at 3am. But when I got with my boyfriend he was also concerned. He never tried to stop me but he was concerned and preferred I didn't for my safety. And I mean they're right to be concerned. It's not safe out there for women. But I do agree that your man could've worded it better for you.
A smoke break at the gym 😆the irony
Sounds like he’s using the excuse to keep you safe to control you
I think next time just grab your stuff and go. Rinse there before, shower there after. The longer you stay in the house the more opportunity it gives for him to talk to you. Grab your stuff and say “I’m going gym”. If you want to give him your location to give him peace of mind that you’re okay, then do that. But I also wouldn’t wanna be on the phone w him all the way there and listen to all that. If you’re bent on going to the gym at 1am (nothing wrong w that) then go as quick as possible and don’t linger in the house and don’t talk to him otw there, so his words don’t cause you doubt and you go there happy and excited w a positive mind instead of what’s he’s making you feel. You said you’ve done this many times so it’s obv not your first time so whys he acting up now? Depends on the city/area. Your area is either safe or it’s not, just listen to your women’s instinct and be alert when out. As I am when I walk in the city at night but mine is quite safe.
Honestly this reminds me of one of my exes and he didn't really care about my safety like he was trying to make it out. He cared about controlling me and owning me and "saving/protecting me" from the world to feel needed and I ended up needing a protective order against him. He wanted me to feel unsafe in the world as a way to cut me off so I'd worship him in a way
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