Caregiver preference / separation anxiety
My little one cries whenever my mother or father in law hold her, we see them around once a month, she is fine with my parents who she sees once a week, is it just that she is not used to them?
I’m getting worried because I am going back to work soon and they are due to look after her on some of the days, any advice for making the transition easier? I know she will get used to them eventually but I feel terrible how worked up she gets and also bad on my in laws!
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Hey! Are you able to see your in laws more often at all? We have similar with our friends we don’t see as much but she’s fine with those we see weekly so I think for us it was definitely helpful to increase how often we we see the people who will be looking after her while we work as we have no tears now xx
I agree with the regularity, its probably the most important factor.
These are the other things that we think are helpful:
Giving time and space - gentle hello, not fussing, picking up etc. Keeping some distance and interacting closer as they relax.
Being in a neutral space - like on the floor playing, and visitor can gradually engage in the play.
Parent supporting the interaction - like playing catch from parents lap, looking at books together.
Being calm, although this is likely a temperament thing and her Nanny never got the calm memo, kept being her loud silly self and over time daughter now loves it and finds her hilarious
Honouring babies communication, e.g. reaching for Mummy they get to have mummy! And can interact more when reassured and more relaxed again
For myself - stepping back when appropriate, to give space to get to know one another
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