Drowning in disappointment
I just realized that having a gender reveal was a terrible idea. I have only brothers. I was hoping so much for a girl and I absolutely have no interest in having a boy. My boyfriend’s dad and sister kept insisting it was a boy and it really kept getting under my skin. Then when we put the knife in the cake and it came out boy, they started yelling “I told you it was a boy!! I knew it, I told you so!” And I shut down. I left the table. No smiles, only irritation. My boyfriend told me I ruined the video and made it useless because I didn’t even smile. They kept telling me “the next will be a girl.” Honestly we can barely afford this one. Plus my health has severely deteriorated so I know I will never have another child.
I came home and I cried in a closet. I fell asleep in the floor. In time I know I’ll get there, I have to. But honestly I even told my mom I don’t want this. I wanted a child I could do things that I never did with like getting my nails done. Someone to dress up with and have little matching outfits 😞 And now all I can see is doing everything alone still because I have no interest in boy activities.
Does this feeling go away? I just keep thinking I’m already a failure because I don’t want this. I even dislike every single name I’ve looked at. The only one that I do like, my boyfriend doesn’t like…
no one around me gets it and they all just keep judging me which make me feel even worse.
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Hi. First. You are NOT ALONE!!! I am currently pregnant with a boy and it has been a heck of a pill to swallow for me as well. But I chose to be rather vocal about my gender disappointment and I’m so glad because the biggest thing I’ve learned is that it’s surprisingly common how MANY people go through this. So i hope that by itself helps a little.. i know it has for me..
Second, i dont think there is anything wrong with giving yourself some time to ‘grieve’ the life you saw for yourself. It doesn’t make you a bad mommy or a bad person. It’s a real process and you’re allowed to go through it. I also think talking to people helps, and hearing peoples success stories of how it all disappears once the baby comes brings a lot of hope as well. I’m still pregnant so I can’t help on that front yet, but I will tell you time and talking has made a big difference. I can say now that I’m mostly Excited about having my Little boy, but i also have to admit that there are still moments of sadness
And doubt (sorry ran out of space). But the big theme I have heard from absolutely everyone who has been kind enough to talk to me is that it all goes away when the baby comes.
For what it’s worth, i can also tell you that temperament is real. Having a girl doesn’t mean they’re going to be in to girly things and vice versa. My little girl is a fierce little go getter that mostly makes friends with little boys 🤷🏼♀️ so even if it was a little girl, she may not enjoy those types of activities anyway.. if that helps any.
Anyway. Be kind to yourself. It’s really okay to be sad right now, and if you ever need to talk more I am here. You can always DM me if you want or need. You’re going to do great ♥️
I know how you feel! I was the same when I learned about my boy and I remember checking this forum to find comfort and everyone telling me that it will go away… but to be honest I didn’t believe that the feeling will past. But trust me it will, my boy is 1 month now and I am actually happy that he is here. During pregnancy I had a lot of breakdowns especially when we start buying the clothes and I remember crying in the girl aisle because I wanted a girl so badly. I came from an only girl family with 3 sisters and a step brother that is absolutely horrible… but with time the feeling will go away I promised. I talked a lot about it to husband family and friends and that helps. I also met a friend and the app that has a big and I found it helpful. Lots of love I promise you will feel better
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