LA little back story, my mil got a new bf last year and a month into dating they insisted he be called grandpa. Fast forward to a few months ago mother-in-law and her boyfriend‘s behavior has turned nasty after father-in-law has come back into the picture. After mother-in-law and her boyfriend’s behavior at family events, such as my son’s baptism, my Christmas party and my father’s Christmas party, I told my husband to tell his mom that her boyfriend is no longer to be called Grandpa. fast-forward three months and he still hasn’t told her because he doesn’t want to upset her feelings. Now her bf wants to bring his son over to my house to meet my kids or his “grandkids” and they didn’t ask my opinion. I told my husband how I feel about it and he’s not telling her no because he doesn’t want to upset her. I’m starting to see my husband as less of a man because of his mom and putter her above me.
Am I over reacting? What should I do?
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Tell her yourself if he won't you are allowed to have boundaries and they should be followed by everyone

I don’t think you’re over reacting and I do not think it’s easy to just have mil’s boyfriend fill in the “grandpa” role or feel the entitlement to do so. Tell him yourself you have a right too, your husband should understand and still respect you and your feelings
Every time I set boundaries she treats me like I kicked her dog. As in she treats me like I’m the worse person in the room. And when I do set boundaries she runs to my husband to have them reversed. He did it at the Christmas party. He told her as long as I’m not jn the room she can brake the boundaries that I set

Your mil isn’t the reason you see your husband as less of a man…it’s because he’s is less than a man. Saying you’re a husband and being one are 2 different things. Idk what took place at the events, but if you don’t want your child to call someone something, then they don’t call someone something. You are not overreacting. In one of your comments you said your husband condoned his mom breaking boundaries as long as you’re not around. That is someone who has no respect for you as a person, or a mother. I would leave. Love alone does not keep people together.