Advice 🥹

So me and my partner (11yrs) had an argument last night to the point he sat down on his phone and done nothing for our kids all night. This morning he then stayed in bed while I sorted the kids out for school and took them to school. I didn’t bother going back home because I’m fed up that he doesn’t pull his weight. Anyway, I went to a family members house this morning and haven’t engaged in conversation and then I get these messages from him.

in our community

Separating

So my husband has decided he’s done and doesn’t want us to stay together any more. I thought he was depressed and would get over it eventually but instead he’s decided our marriage is finished. We’re in an awkward position where neither of us can afford the house on our own and neither of us can afford to move out and rent, so logistically we’ll be staying in the house, sleeping in the same bed, raising the kids together whilst not being together? What am I supposed to do? I’ve never felt so useless and rejected. What a waste of 13 years of my life. I thought we’d be together forever. Just needed to vent

How much would be considered too much?

We’ve been screen free till my son turned 3 - and we watched the odd few low stimulating episodes, guess how much I love you, Kipper, little bear and so forth … but now he is getting interested in movies also, I’m struggling with the house now that he’s becoming more older he wants me to play with him a lot more then he did before 3 and he is active, to add I have a health condition with causes me to feel fatigue and dizziness a lot 😭

How much tv is considered too much? Im feeling a lot of mum guilt !! Even though he’s only having 40 minutes a day (not every day at times) …

SCREEN TIME; Would you describe your parenting…

I do believe screen time can be both beneficial and harmful. We love family movie days/nights, we love Pixar films and wanted to share that with our little ones but we don’t do games on devices/youtube/short reel like videos and some kids series I can clearly see overstimulate them so we don’t watch.

I would describe us as aware of the danger of screens but I wouldn’t say we are strict with ZERO screen time, at all, we have the TV on in the background for a lot of the day, not kids tv all day and sometimes just music channels. Screens are going to be here forever and I do believe in teaching the balance. We are a camping loving family so when my kids have been outdoors playing, discovering and learning about the world all day I really don’t see how a bit of Toy Story in the tent is going to erase all that for a young one.

I do think smartphones and iPads see unnecessary for childhood, but I’m also not opposed to a movie on one during one of our many 5/6 hour drives. Like anything in life, is it not about balance? As parents we should research and learn of course, which is why there are things we have decided our children aren’t allowed but I do personally think completely screen free parenting takes it a step too far.

I see parents not allow their children to look at a screen say in FaceTime to a family member, I regularly show my children photos of my phone and we look at them together, we also look through physical photo albums🤷‍♀️ The world has both now.

Hosting Family

Okay I have an observation regarding bff my boomer parents and In-laws. My mother and my MIL always host family gatherings at their houses. Every occasion my MIL will often complain about all the work going into hosting. My husband and I have volunteered to have family come to our home (Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother’s Day Father’s Day etc) but whenever we do we get no thank you but you can host here? This makes no damn sense lol. I get we live far away but we do everything there. Every occasion including birthdays. How can I prepare to host at your house. This is silly. 🤪

I love my in-laws and my parents but please boomers let us be grownups?

Nursery

Hey, My 11month old has been going to nursery since end of January, she does Monday to Friday 9-3. She’s been ill every single week and has completed 3 rounds of antibiotics! She never ends up completing a full week and meaning im off work constantly! Me and my partner also end up catching a bug every week and it’s starting to put a big toll on family life as we are all completely burnt out! She loves to go nursery but I’m seriously thinking of pulling her out as it’s causing so much stress. Is anyone else in the same boat? I’m desperate for advice on what to do for the best. TIA X

Pasta

My LO is 8 months old and has 8 teeth. I gave him some fusilli pasta yesterday which he’s had before but this time when I watched him eat, it looked like he put the pasta in his mouth and swallowed whole without chewing and moving it round his mouth - he did this with multiple pieces. I am so anxious about BLW and this has completely panicked me. How are you serving pasta for an 8 month old?