Am I doing it wrong?

Am I the bad guy if after my husband works 8 hour shifts but I still want to have some time where I’m not having to be on baby duty.

Our 7 week old is very clingy and seems to either always want attention or be held. So I tend to be the one to have to do it. This is hard because I’m the one who is home all day and already doing it all day and I’ll be honest I don’t get a whole lot done because I’m still learning how to do things one handed and when I hit the point where I can finally pick stuff up that’s heavier than a baby I got sick.

With knowing all that is it wrong for me to want some time without the baby. Like if I ask him if he can watch the baby so I can take a shower (which at this point has only been once a week but I’d like to take more) he tells me to hurry up but I never rush his showers. He hardly even watches/holds our baby and often is able to play his game because I’m stuck being the one who has to take care of the baby. If he doesn’t anything it’s because I asked or didn’t give him the choice.

in our community

Advice 🥹

So me and my partner (11yrs) had an argument last night to the point he sat down on his phone and done nothing for our kids all night. This morning he then stayed in bed while I sorted the kids out for school and took them to school. I didn’t bother going back home because I’m fed up that he doesn’t pull his weight. Anyway, I went to a family members house this morning and haven’t engaged in conversation and then I get these messages from him.

How much would be considered too much?

We’ve been screen free till my son turned 3 - and we watched the odd few low stimulating episodes, guess how much I love you, Kipper, little bear and so forth … but now he is getting interested in movies also, I’m struggling with the house now that he’s becoming more older he wants me to play with him a lot more then he did before 3 and he is active, to add I have a health condition with causes me to feel fatigue and dizziness a lot 😭

How much tv is considered too much? Im feeling a lot of mum guilt !! Even though he’s only having 40 minutes a day (not every day at times) …

SCREEN TIME; Would you describe your parenting…

I do believe screen time can be both beneficial and harmful. We love family movie days/nights, we love Pixar films and wanted to share that with our little ones but we don’t do games on devices/youtube/short reel like videos and some kids series I can clearly see overstimulate them so we don’t watch.

I would describe us as aware of the danger of screens but I wouldn’t say we are strict with ZERO screen time, at all, we have the TV on in the background for a lot of the day, not kids tv all day and sometimes just music channels. Screens are going to be here forever and I do believe in teaching the balance. We are a camping loving family so when my kids have been outdoors playing, discovering and learning about the world all day I really don’t see how a bit of Toy Story in the tent is going to erase all that for a young one.

I do think smartphones and iPads see unnecessary for childhood, but I’m also not opposed to a movie on one during one of our many 5/6 hour drives. Like anything in life, is it not about balance? As parents we should research and learn of course, which is why there are things we have decided our children aren’t allowed but I do personally think completely screen free parenting takes it a step too far.

I see parents not allow their children to look at a screen say in FaceTime to a family member, I regularly show my children photos of my phone and we look at them together, we also look through physical photo albums🤷‍♀️ The world has both now.

So heartbroken I found out my partner is cheating

She posted a bunch of pictures of them together, him in bed kissing her, matching outfits, them at Christmas events etc, hell she has more picture with him than I have of him with the kids in the last year.

I can’t even make sense of it all. We were together 14 years and have kids under 5 including a baby.

I feel like the worst part is the silence. I messaged him a bunch of the photos like wtf how could you do this? How could you be with someone else over a year? He responded with a typo saying “it hasn’t been a year it’s actually been a for a few months”. I don’t know if he meant over a few months or only a few months and it’s driving me insane not to know. He hasn’t opened my messages since Sunday morning. Like umm I’m home alone with babies and my whole world is crashing and you can’t even check your phone? What if there was an emergency? No apology no nothing

It’s a woman I know but hadn’t seen in a few years but our last convo she knew I was pregnant. I messaged her asking how long they been together and how could she date him and flaunt it knowing we had a family and sent pics of our family but she blocked me and changed her page to private. They still follow each other so I don’t think they are broken up but the last post of them was December.

I just can’t believe this. We actually have been doing great in our relationship in the last 3 months things were better than ever. I had zero idea any of this was going on

I hate not knowing if/when he’s coming home? Is he at least coming up with a fake apology or something or will he just be angry and act like he’s done nothing wrong. I can’t believe that was his only response and the typo is driving me mad lol

I haven’t slept or even ate since I found out. I’m so heartbroken we just had celebrated his birthday Saturday with the kids and had such an amazing day out, it was so beautiful our toddler was running around saying daddy daddy daddy which she just learned to say and now I’m just like wtfffffff

Hosting Family

Okay I have an observation regarding bff my boomer parents and In-laws. My mother and my MIL always host family gatherings at their houses. Every occasion my MIL will often complain about all the work going into hosting. My husband and I have volunteered to have family come to our home (Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother’s Day Father’s Day etc) but whenever we do we get no thank you but you can host here? This makes no damn sense lol. I get we live far away but we do everything there. Every occasion including birthdays. How can I prepare to host at your house. This is silly. 🤪

I love my in-laws and my parents but please boomers let us be grownups?

Nursery food

Hello, I've suspected for a while that my sons nursery doesnt follow the government guidelines. They have biscuits, cakes etc. I did email them snd they said they do so i left it at that.
Last week they did a mothers afternoon tea and provided cakes, sandwiches for the kids and mothers. They also had haribo marshmallows on offer! I was suprised to see this as they are full or sugar and also a choking hazard! Would you say anything? Ive emailed a few times and I'm worried they are going to hate me but I just found it odd. Yes they could have been for the mums but why would you have marshmallows there. What would you do? X