Would it bother you if your husband was hanging out with his sister at 4am in a closed bedroom upstairs while you’re in bed downstairs?

My sister in law is visiting/spending the night and we haven’t seen her in over a year because of living abroad. I have some past trauma from my own family so I was triggered when my husband saw that I was almost asleep at 4am when he was up playing video games and instead of coming to bed, went upstairs to chat with his sister. But I sound crazy even saying anything because it’s his sister, right? Is it inappropriate? Am I buggin? Would you feel uncomfortable?

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i would feel uncomfortable it’s 4am get your ass to bed… they have the whole morning/day/evening to visit he rlly has no business to be in her room at 4am im sorry girly

What ? No. They're probably catching up since they haven't seen each other in a while. At 4am it makes sense to have conversations behind closed doors not to wake the house up.
Unless they're a bunch of freaks, I wouldn't feel anything about this.

Are you concerned he’d sleep with his sister? Idk what would be inappropriate about talking with one’s sibling at any time of the day.

i agree with Jasmin, they’re siblings, unless they’ve been caught doing something weird in the past, this is such a non-issue

I’m no contact with my father’s family because he SA’d me and I found out that a lot of the family members were fooling around with their own cousins and whenever I suspected something weird, I was always right. So now, idk if it’s just my trauma and I’m overthinking or if my intuition is pointing me to dig deeper to make sure they don’t have an inappropriate relationship. I guess that sounds crazy to the average person without such trauma and maybe I need to just leave it alone

Nope, not with his sister…?

I just see it as they’re catching up. Some siblings are actually close growing up. Wouldn’t bother me I’d just go to sleep. And he hasn’t seen her in over a year so lots of talking to be had, even sitting playing games together in each others’ presence is comforting

OP, I understand why your mind would wonder to this place. I would have a conversation with him about these intrusive thoughts and explain that you're on high alert with these types of things because of your past trauma (which I'm sure he knows about ?). Hopefully he can offer you come reassurance but generally there is nothing inherently wrong with this situation. 🤗

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Housework.

Hello Mamas,
Firstly how are you all?
Secondly during the day, how are you getting housework done? I am so behind its getting me down. (Partner doesn't help)

Missing him

My husband and I had been married for 2 years now. Honestly it’s been HELL. Nothing abusive. We got married one month after dating so you can imagine how that’s going lol. Right now ? We’ve been on bad terms since August !!! It’s march 😭😭😭 he trying but it’s not good enough but I miss him so much ( he’s always away , navy) but as soon as he gets back the fight continues bc it never freaking ended. We’ve barely spoken for 2 weeks and every time he leaves we have a big fight the night before 🙄🙄🙄 I miss him bad but hate him all the same time. I want to stop being sooooo angry with him but I feel like if I stop it will show that I’m not standing on my boundaries 😒😒 he’s been pretty much underway since August… and still isn’t done yet 🤦🏾‍♀️ won’t be until next month… Jesus. Any military spouses ? How in the fuck can you deal with anything when they aren’t even here 🙄🙄🙄

..... divorce or marriage counseling?

2 kiddos, no DV, No cheating. Financially we are okay, slowly moving up in physical stability. However emotionally and physically we seem to hate each other. To be honest I cannot stand him anymore. I spent the whole time giving myself to my newborns, then to him. He can't even tell me I am pretty, or appreciated, or.... anything, besides argue and diminish me. I cannot stand him.

He hasn't been evil.

Do I do therapy (which will be its own fight)
Or just start paperwork?

Am I doing it wrong?

Am I the bad guy if after my husband works 8 hour shifts but I still want to have some time where I’m not having to be on baby duty.

Our 7 week old is very clingy and seems to either always want attention or be held. So I tend to be the one to have to do it. This is hard because I’m the one who is home all day and already doing it all day and I’ll be honest I don’t get a whole lot done because I’m still learning how to do things one handed and when I hit the point where I can finally pick stuff up that’s heavier than a baby I got sick.

With knowing all that is it wrong for me to want some time without the baby. Like if I ask him if he can watch the baby so I can take a shower (which at this point has only been once a week but I’d like to take more) he tells me to hurry up but I never rush his showers. He hardly even watches/holds our baby and often is able to play his game because I’m stuck being the one who has to take care of the baby. If he doesn’t anything it’s because I asked or didn’t give him the choice.