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SEX ~ DRAMA ~ MARRIAGE & MORE

Uhg

My bf and I have a 7 week old baby. For like the last 5 months of my pregnancy he would basically only have sex with me when he was drunk. He only pecks me on the mouth, he won’t makeout with me anymore. And since I’ve not been pregnant anymore he’s only had sex with me twice: the first time he was drunk and the second time he was drunk and literally said to me “I just wanna have sec from behind and then go to bed” he always comes from behind and I come on top and so usually I hop on top and finish and then we switch to doggy and he finishes. We always talk about having sex when we are sober but never actually do it. One time I was complaining about how he doesn’t make out with me anymore and he like basically yelled at me for being upset about it. I’m like k. Nice, I’d feel reassured if you made out with me not yell at me for feeling insecure because of it. Anyways because of our last drunk sex where I was basically requested to be a wet hole I’m like insecure about having sex again but the man won’t do more than peck me so I guess I have nothing to worry about. Last time he was drunk and came home I was sleeping so no sex this time. Idk I feel like he’s obviously my bf to be a “good guy” because we have a baby together. He’s really the perfect gentleman and a great guy all around and has a good job and gives me and our daughter whatever we want and need and I get to stay at home mom with her. I just miss having a boyfriend that actually seems to be into me. Kinda used to it now. He won’t like any of my posts on social like pics of his own daughter and removes his tags and only has pics of his nieces on social. It’s pretty obvious he’s either ashamed of us or doesn’t want females to know he’s a dad with a gf. I know he loves his daughter. When he’s drunk at the bar he makes them like put her picture on the tv screens and brags to the whole bar about our daughter. Idk 🤷‍♀️ I’m so over it because it’s been the way it is for a long time but after I gave birth I was really craving cuddles and affection so it was hard for a few weeks but I’m good now. At night when I’m trying to sleep I feel a little sad that my boyfriend treats me more like a roommate but whatever. It is what it is. He gets mad when I’m insecure and say he doesn’t love me or like me. So I’ve pretty much stopped. I figured sharing how I was feeling he would like be like oh okay you need kisses and I want you to feel loved so I’ll give u kisses but nope. Just says shit like “I never makeout in relationships, ask all my ex girlfriends” meanwhile he’s completely forgetting I was there at the beginning of our relationship when I couldn’t get his tung out of my throat. But whatever. I feel like there’s a chance he’ll initiate sober sex just to shut me up but maybe not, I don’t really even want it anymore after the last drunk sex (I’m always sober for his drunk sex) but when he didnt want me to come…. Like how awkward for me. I’m probably always going to be insecure about finishing with him now and never do that again. I feel like it’s going to take a lot of him chasing me and wooing me and wine and dining me and endless makeout sessions for this to resolve. I love hanging out with my new baby. But it sucks my boyfriend like doesn’t like me. Feel like im at the point where im getting so used to zero affection that it’s become a way of life and this is just how it’s supposed to be. I’m like forgetting what it’s like to have a boyfriend that is into me. He just says I love you and pecks me like once or twice a day. Will sit in bed with me and watch a show because (and I quote) “you like cuddles” and I’m like if you don’t like to cuddle me then please don’t. He like denies not being into me or attracted to me but his actions say otherwise. I used to cry about it but I’m over it. Just venting I guess. Thanks if u read this whole post. 👍