Autism…
I think I need therapy for anxiety…
I have suffered with something similar before. I was so hung up I had a disease. I kept going to Dr appointments until time went on and it was obvious it was in my head. I’m experiencing something similar with my daughter. I’m obsessed with thinking my daughter can have autism. She has met every single milestone but I keep looking for something to be wrong. She struggles sleeping so I looked up if that can be autism and sure enough it is. She flaps her hands when exciting or mad. I keep testing her. She loves to lay on the floor more than my first baby did. I call her name to see if she turns around and she does everytime but I test like over and over. I test her animal sounds and her colors which she does pretty good I feel like horrible mother. I keep a log of her words just in case. I have a close friend with an autistic son and she’s always venting how hard it is to see my children meet their milestones but I keep thinking what if she regresses and stops talking. Anyone else suffer with this? 😣
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I think you should first take a breath, and give yourself a pat on the back for doing a great job at being aware and being on top of your child’s milestones. Next step is to listen to the doctors for now unless you see odd behavior. It sounds like everything is normal. Continue doing what you think is best but also remember everything is ok. Therapy is ok. You need peace of mind.
Totally recommend therapy! Life changing!
I don’t think you’re a horrible mom at all. I think you’re an anxious mom who loves her daughter so much that your mind keeps looking for something to be wrong. That checking, googling, and testing over and over sounds exhausting, and a lot of people really do struggle with that kind of anxiety.
Honestly, it sounds like your daughter is doing well and the bigger thing hurting you right now is the fear. It might really help to talk to her pediatrician for peace of mind, but also talk to someone about your anxiety too, because you deserve support just as much as she does. Hang in there, mama. ❤️
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