MIL VENT
Thank you in advance if you read all the way threw.
Pisses me off that grandparents saying they are there for you but then bitch about it when you need their help. My MIL moved semi close to us when my husband took a job the moved us 4 states away when our 1st was 2 months old. My mother inlaw moved a state just away from us to be closer. Though different states we are only an hour and a half away. The area she moved too was a place she lived before 20 years ago and loved the area but moved away due to her husbands job at the time.
She kept telling us to move closer to her and that she could be there more to help out. That that area was nicer ect. I will say we did enjoy that area more than where we were amd surprising my husband's job had a location in that area as well. 3 years later he officially got a transfer! Well we needed her help to watch our 2 little one's while we moved. We unfortunately didn't receive a moving package due to proximity reasons on the company so we are having to move ourselves. Ans we are temporarily keeping our stuff in storage while we stay with MIL while we search for a home to buy.
We've had to break this move into several weekends. First weekend packing. 2nd weekend moving boxes to storage Unit. 3rd weekend movers getting large furniture and cleaners.
2nd weekend we made two trips back and forth to the storage unit (lot of driving) and we were going to make another trip the next morning drop off the rental trunk and go see a house showing. Well the night before agter all our trips back and forth my husband randomlywanted to do a date night since his mom was watching our 2. We were tired but its been awhile since we last had a nice evening out so took the opportunity. Lovely evening.
Come this weekend. Movers moved the heavy furniture and we made a trip back to our rental. Hubs needed to fix something at the rental and I was to stay behind for the night to handle the cleaners tomorrow. Well he fixed what he needed too, helped me load our cars with the remaining items that needed loaded. We ate dinner (literally just takout we order to eat at the rental before he headed back). As my husband was getting ready to head back his mom called and just unloaded on him all mad.
She was mad he wasn't back yet and pissed she had to watch out children the past 3 weekends. And pissed we had a little date night the pervious weekend and was thinking we were having another evening date.... đ«
WTH... she told us she didn't mind watching them while we moved and sorted our rental. Also she had begged the past 3 years for us to move closer so she could help more with us and watch her grandchildren more. What is with this generation of grandparents.
Literally these past 2 weekends my youngest has warmed up to her in strides since spending these weekend with her. She has been loving the attention my 1 year old has given her but now she complains and yells down my husband throat over it. She wanted to help more and be more there for us.
Idk... I am starting to regret this move. If this is how she really is... I don't want her help. And doesn't deserve 1:1 time with my children like she claims she has wanted.
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Devilâs advocate here
3 weekends in a row is a lot considering she hasnât been spending that much time with them before!
The offer to help from grandparents usually has âonce a fortnightâ cap đ
I donât think she should have gotten mad, my bet she was tired and did not handle her emotions great. And you are probably very tired with the move and your emotions are heightened as a result as well. Give her a weekend or two to recharge and realise how much she misses little ones â€ïž
I would potentially agree with above depending on ages 3 weekends are a lot if itâs long days I think more detail is needed.
Did you agree on what times sheâd look after them for? Did you ask if she minded keeping them longer for your date night instead of assuming?
Had the children been difficult on the that last day? How old are your in laws are they retired or still work? Thereâs so many variables to see whoâs in the right it could all be down to miscommunication and all people being really tired
Three weekends on the trot is a big ask. Your MIL will likely have a life of her own which sheâs had to put on hold⊠and whilst I bet sheâs desperate to be more involved, it kinda feels like youâre taking advantage if this wasnât agreed upon in advance.
We spoke and she agreed to the 3 weekends knowing our plans. Friday evening to Sunday and we would be back Sunday and on Sunday we have been good about eta with her.
The last weekend I went up Saturday late morning and husband was back Sunday night. I didn't see a need for me to be there Friday evening and honestly wanted a little more time with my babies.
I am sorting the move out cleaning today and will be back once that is complete.
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