What do you do when sd wants to take the clothes we bought to her moms ?

One day my husband told my stepson “hey buddy we’re gonna keep things here from now on so we have stuff at our house.” And it hasn’t been a problem. If your daughter expresses her feelings about it, validate them (“It can be hard to have things at two different houses and feel like there’s not enough at either. Everything will be okay.”), but it’s not your job to solve that problem.

My Advice Is To Stop Sending Clothes Back Until She Moves Up A Couple Of Sizes. Buy Her Things And Have That Conversation That She Has Those Clothes In Her Room There. This Will Force BM To Buy Her Clothes. That Monthly Is Way More Than Enough For SD. It's Hard Seeing A Child Go Without, But You Can't Put All Of Your Responsibility On What Goes On When She's Not There. We Made That Decision And Sent SD Back With What She Came With For A While (Even Though It Was Hard To Do) And Eventually She Had New Clothes. Try It, It Worked For Us.

My SD is 12 and this is exactly how things have gone. At first we stopped her from taking anything but old, stained stuff since it often didn't come back. But I talked to a friend of mine who is a product of a divorced home and she talked about how when she was a kid and one parent said she couldn't take her stuff to the other house it made her feel her stuff wasn't hers. So now we let her take what she wants but directed she has to bring it back before she can take anything else. It only took a couple weekends for her to get the pattern.