What do you do when sd wants to take the clothes we bought to her moms ?
We originally never cared if she would take a couple of things until about the last year she wants to take everything we get her to her moms . Problem is the the next time she comes she complains she has nothing to wear . We then end up shopping for her each visit then she wants to take everything back to her moms . She then says how her mom doesn’t buy her anything and being that we don’t want her to be without we let it slide . How would you go about addressing this to where sd isn’t caught in the middle ? Bm gets over $1k a month so It’s not like her mom can’t afford it . I understand if it was a one off situation but it’s literally always something .
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One day my husband told my stepson “hey buddy we’re gonna keep things here from now on so we have stuff at our house.” And it hasn’t been a problem. If your daughter expresses her feelings about it, validate them (“It can be hard to have things at two different houses and feel like there’s not enough at either. Everything will be okay.”), but it’s not your job to solve that problem.
We went through something similar and we had to stop because we couldn’t keep up.
My Advice Is To Stop Sending Clothes Back Until She Moves Up A Couple Of Sizes. Buy Her Things And Have That Conversation That She Has Those Clothes In Her Room There. This Will Force BM To Buy Her Clothes. That Monthly Is Way More Than Enough For SD. It's Hard Seeing A Child Go Without, But You Can't Put All Of Your Responsibility On What Goes On When She's Not There. We Made That Decision And Sent SD Back With What She Came With For A While (Even Though It Was Hard To Do) And Eventually She Had New Clothes. Try It, It Worked For Us.
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