Different shades
I have two boys with my husband- one is darkskinned/black and the other is light skin/ mixed race like. I am mixed race and my husband is black. We make the joke that people may be thinking that I am the step mum to my first born because my second born look so much like me. My second born is the lightest in my husband family and my first born the darkest in mine.
Truthfully I am just patiently waiting to deal with my children questions and also a bit scared. How can I support hem both to grow confident?
Some people in my family joked that my second born will have it easier in this world which make me eek. It made me very protective of my first born.
Oh dear, is anyone else in this situation?
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You can be protective of the first born but be careful not to make the second jealous or resentful in doing that and vice verse. Personally, I wouldn’t make jokes, let friends, or family members make jokes. I had extended family that made me uncomfortable and feel like I didn’t fit, whether intentional or not. My mom is black and dad is Italian so my brother and I are the lightest in our family, I’m actually slightly lighter than him. My mom made sure no one said anything inappropriate about my brother and I within her family and our fathers. They divorced and she raised us. I definitely had questions and things that upset me growing up, said in school, by family friends, etc., but didn’t bring it up to my mom. Be available for conversations so when they do come to you, they are met with love and understanding and they will return with questions when necessary. Make sure they both love their own skin.
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