since you became a mom, do you compare the way you parent with how your mom did?

I don’t really compare that much. Lots of different circumstances. My mom stayed at home and had 3 kids. I work outside the home and have 2 kids. She also had an 8 year gap between oldest and youngest. My 2 are 3 years apart. Plus I started having my kids at 37 and she had her last at 36. Things were also just very different in the 80s and 90s.

I don’t compare my parenting with anybody’s. I just know I want my kids to have a better upbringing than I did.

A little of both. I understand more about how she parented us as younger kids but I still hold some "judgment" for how she raised teenagers (but I'm not there yet, so who knows, maybe I'll understand more by then but I kinda doubt it lol).

My parenting style is a lot more relaxed than my mom's, we are just very different people when it comes to how we view the world.

I don't know if compare is the right word. But I definitely think about how I was raised and the reasons my parents made the decisions they did. I think they did the best they could with the information they had at the time.

My mother did the unthinkable when I was younger so anything I do will always be better than her .

Not compare per se, but I do think about our similarities and differences. Now having kids myself, I am even more in awe of her in many ways.

I compare all the time but more out of curiosity and wanting to understand both her and myself, but not out of judgment. I do have certain resentments towards her, but that hasn’t changed since becoming a mom. She lived in a very different time, place and circumstances - like I don’t even want to think about how hard it was to have two babies, 1 year apart, living without any diapers (USSR in the 80s)! And no washing machines, food/everything scarcity, chicken you had to pluck yourself… I’m in no position to judge.

Just I can compare myself with my parents. Mostly because they are way stricter than I am so I like judge that. Some thing so understand and will do but most of the time I take that and learn from it.

I often think about both of my parents when parenting and I understand them both better

My parents (mother and stepfather) were abusive, of course I compare my parenting to how I was raised.

I still judge my mother and kinda hate her for what she did and didn’t do for me as a child but I am willing to look forward if it means my son gets to have a grandmother.

I fell into a big spiral after my daughter was first born as I had a very abusive childhood not at the hands of my mother but she did put us in alot of awful situations and deliberately stayed and went back to her abusive partners, she also put alot of adult issues on our shoulders and I was way to mature for my age.

I was always under the “she did the best with the hand she was dealt” motto until I became a mother and I suddenly understood the lengths I would go too, to keep my little girl safe. I was extremely angry with my mum and it was really, really difficult.

But my daughter is older now and I’ve come to terms with that I had an awful childhood, lots of awful things happened to me but now I’ve got the chance to make sure my little girl has every opportunity I didn’t, doesn’t grow up too quickly and most importantly is safe and protected.

I roll my eyes at parenting advice every now again but I’m done with being angry about it or to her, I’d rather just forgive and forget!

I do to the extent that I don’t want to be like her

I don't really compare myself with my mom but I definitely understand her more. My dad used to make out like my mom was a monster sometimes and I used to think wow she sounded awful when they were together but looking back now she was just struggling with PPD and my dad who doesn't believe in depression properly wasn't helping the situation. She wasn't a monster, she was living with internal monsters fighting them daily to survive. Going through ppd I get it now. My mother died when I was quite young and my parents split with my dad having custody when I was even younger so I guess I don't really compare to her all that much but I think I sometimes compare myself to my dad/Stepmom

With my own personal situation, I judge now, both mom and dad.

I understand her with some things but I also judge her on a lot of things.