Outside perspective needed please! For background, hubby and i married for 5 years and have 2 kids. He's also 18 years older than me so I'm now looking to do something for myself now that I've had 2 kids.
My husband and I are in the middle of quite a nasty argument and i just need an outside perspective. Our current situation is my husband works full time in a job he doesn't particularly enjoy, and i work 2 days a week in a job i absolutely love. I have been given the opportunity to do a university degree through work. The conditions are that i will have to be full time and my pay will go down to minimum wage while I'm doing the course, which will take 3 years. I will have a degree at the end of it and my pay will significantly increase after I'm qualified. My husband had seen a part time job advertised that he liked the look of, so financially we worked out we would be okay. Now my husband has started to say he doesn't think i would be able to do it, and he thinks work are taking advantage of me by putting my pay down. (If i funded the course myself i would be paying 9,000). I understand that it would be a big change for both of us, but I've been given the chance to further my career and I'm feeling hurt that he doesn't believe in me. I know it will be hard work for the next 3 years but i really think the outcome will be so worth it. Not just for me but for our family too.
Any thoughts welcome
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If it’s something that you really want, I think you should go for it. It may not be easy, but in the end your hard work will pay off.
It sounds like a good opportunity and (I think) he should want to support you throughout this. Like you said, it’ll benefit everyone later. Who knows, maybe he can even drop to part time at the job he hates when your salary increases. 18 year age gap also means he can retire much sooner than you. So you could be working still and providing for his retirement.
100% do what is best for you and it will be what’s best for everyone that’s meant to be around you
I think you should ask him why he doesn’t want you to. Because either way if it’s something you want to do, you should. But if it’s because he doesn’t believe in you, that’s a problem. But if it’s because he thinks work are taking advantage of you that’s coming from a loving place. You need to figure out if his concerns are coming from a place of love or fear before you can solve it.
I hope you can get it sorted and you do get to further your career xxx
Just to make sure I understood, during those 3 years, (a) you will have to be a full time employee and study or (b) be a full time student and work part-time?
Let me clarify to see if I'm reading correctly.
You're currently part-time at a higher pay rate. They want you to go full time at a lower payrate and then pay for your schooling?
Hey so tbh, the pay thing does sound a little off. Can I ask what sector your in/job you have? If it’s something like teaching and you’re doing the in school training I get it but that’s 1 year not 3. How are you going to work full time and study?
The biggest question is what is your annual net income x3 now and what will be you annual net income x3 on the lower rate, will the difference actually be £9k or is it much more? Because £9k spread over 3 years is only £250 less a month which is not a lot if you are also going from 2 days to 5dsys…
You didn't answer my question. But I would try to explain the concerns I would have.
If I were you, I would take out a calculator and work out the numbers. See how your potential full-time salary compares to the £9000 fees.
Is it an online degree or are you attending in person? Is it an apprenticeship? By the looks of their offer, it may be online (?). Most universities run their courses during the day.
Studying part-time or full-time requires time and effort, even more if you want to pass with good grades. If you are working full-time, you will have little time to study. Unless this is an apprenticeship (?). I would negotiate reduced working hours with the employer to make sure you have enough time to study and pass the course with good grades.
It is also important to have an agreement in writing even if it is just an email.
The offer "sounds good", you will have a degree and get a better pay at the end, but you want to know what you leave on the table to negotiate this offer.
Also think about possible scenerarios and if they have policies about it, like what happens if you fail a course, what happens if you are made redundant half the course (you will be out of pocket and without a job), etc.
Make sure you get a fair pay while you study and you pay for your degree.
Make sure you will have enough time to work on your course assignments while you keep a job.
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