I’m struggling with my marriage

Is this your first? I know many men who grapple with the loss of personal identity as much as we do as mothers and instead of talking through it they will dissociate into games or hobbies an inordinate amount of time.

Was he always into games? Did he just start putting all his time into that? If he's always been that way you need to have a conversation about limiting it and preparing for baby while expressing what you need and compromising on it. If it's new it sounds like a crisis and asking him early in the day to have time together or make a plan for a weekend to talk it over would help ready him instead of feeling like you're being accusatory or confrontational especially if he's struggling to open up about it or parce out exactly why he's struggling.

It all boils down to communication.

"Hey babe, I know you've got a long day and I want you to decompress but can we get on a routine where I know we have time together? I miss you and feel like I'm not having any time together, it's important for me to..

I was in your shoes at one point in my pregnancy and sometimes i still have that rage and get upset when my fiancé gets home and gets right on his game and doesnt give me no time of day and i just talked to him and told him how i really felt and i may have gotten bit mad well doing so i just suggest to try to talk to him calmly about whats going on in your head and how you feel and if he cares he will understand and start putting more effort in the marriage

..stay connected especially as I grow through the pregnancy. Maybe we can plan Wednesdays and Fridays to start and if I need more we can work on that? This way you still do your thing while I focus on my things, but I'm not missing you so much."

Something like this. See what y'all can agree on and go from there.

We used to do things separately, together. Like. He'd be gaming in the living room and I'd read or draw. We had Friday night movies and a date over the weekend. Sometimes because we were consistently connecting he'd ask if I'd join him for a game or we would decide to skip our hobbies and snuggle instead. We weren't trying to avoid each other but we were distracted and getting in as much hobby time before baby gets here while talking about what we were NOT going to do when they did.

He would not be okay to skip on helping me because he was tired from gaming, or leave me alone with baby before I felt ready to stay out with friends but a few hours was manageable for me in the early weeks. Think about what you need and what you could compromise on to not let your rage stop y'all from growing together and making a plan.

Ok, so it sounds like things are unhealthy and he's trying to convince you that you're selfish for wanting a perfectly reasonable ask. I saw you mentioned he's been with a controlling ex and now it seems like he's in that role himself.

If you can't reasonably talk with him through issues, you need to find a way to stand your ground and stay strong in the awareness that you're not being unreasonable to ask that, and he cannot manipulate you into the person he left by bringing up valid concerns.

My daughter's father was like this and I left him. It was hard, but I needed to do it to avoid her being raised as a tool against me or being treated the same. Are you safe at home? Is this new or has he always been this way since you got together?

I'd definitely start with telling him that and if he tries to turn it into a thing where you're being unreasonable or controlling dig into that. "Why is it unreasonable to want time with you before baby gets here? I'm not asking for all your free time but to plan some of it together." You can definitely talk him down if he's going there without being confrontational, but start saying you need time to get out for your own mental health especially if he's busy playing games it's not like you're missing anything by getting fresh air or enjoying something you want to do too.