Bedtime probs

I co sleep with my 2.5yo - just worked for us and I love it but I cannot for the life of me get her into a routine and it’s really getting out of hand. I was never strict with routine - wouldn’t make that mistake again!!! But it worked and she was happy so I didn’t feel the need to change it

My loose routine is upstairs for bath, milk, teeth brush and story and lights out. When nights started getting later I got stricter but it ended up with me sat upstairs in the dark for hours on end and getting frustrated that it wasn’t getting any easier. She comes up, then wants to go down multiple times and usually ends up falling asleep on her dad and he brings her back up. It’s 10pm - 10.30 before she gives in then she’s tired in the morning when I wake her around 7/7:15

I’ve tried:
Taking her upstairs later
Taking her upstairs earlier
Milk and story downstairs so it’s simple lights out once we’re up
No nap - but this results in overtiredness which is no help
Early nap - tricked by a car journey before usual naptime around 12:30 (matching nursery routine)
She goes to nursery 3 full days - makes no difference
Being firm - I.e tonight she said she needed a drink and wanted to come with me - I said no. She followed me. I picked her up and put her back and said no more sternly. She still followed me but was now crying

I’m at my wits end. I’m upstairs for hours while she’s getting around. Im even watching tv up here which I know is terrible. I’ve asked her dad to come and try - he says he will.. he hasn’t yet but I think he might after tonight because she was upset and I was stressed. I’m getting 0 time to myself atm which I know is selfish but I need just an hour!! At least I need him to pretend he is also going to bed so she knows she’s not missing out on anything

Any advice welcome 🥺

in our community

Rant and rage

I'm not coping and don't feel supported in the way I need. I try and voice how I feel and I get met with silence and huffs and puffs
My son has problems feeding and gaining weight yet my mil insists on holding and comforting him rather than listening to me saying I should try feed him or change him. I get ignored. Same with my toddler she will continue to give her treats when I say no as 1 was enough and doesn't need 3 of somthing. I feel pushed out and not respected
I'm finding it hard very hard

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