Struggling with marriage
For a bit of insight I’m 26 and my husband is 27. We’ve been together since very young and have four small children together. I adore him as a person and up until about a year ago couldn’t ever see myself without him. However over the last year there’s a niggling feeling in me that I’ve had my rose tinted glasses on about our marriage. He’s a good man he genuinely is and a fantastic dad, works hard as I’m a stay at home mum however I think we’re beginning to share a difference in attitudes and I feel like I’ve sacrificed a lot over the 12 years we’ve been together. We couldn’t afford for us both to learn to drive, so he learnt to drive. He didn’t want to stay at home with kids, so I stayed at home. His job isn’t flexible (trade) so when I start looking to go back to work I’m limited on what I can do as he says it has to fit around four children. I do 99.9% of the housework, school admin, home admin, cover my own personal bills, doctors, dentists, pets, emotional drama of the kids, dealing with our families, birthday planning… just everything really other than going physically out to work! I’m exhausted and feel restricted by our marriage, I feel moaned at about sex (youngest baby is 8 months) and am just beginning to view him and our whole set up differently. Perhaps a bit of frontal lobe development, perhaps a bit of postpartum tiredness. Am I being ungrateful and ridiculous? Any advice would be helpful, I probably just needed to vent!
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I feel like your feelings are totally valid you are running on empty postpartum can have us in the trenches as it is and then to not have our needs met or feeling like we carry all the weight of the house on our own can be rather overwhelming especially with an 8 month old the last thing we want is to hear our partner complain about sex and then we feel forced into having sec so that they can just stop complaining it’s all a snow ball effect all stemming from just needing help so u can be a little less exhausted plus the feeling u have never really done much for yourself it’s like your life never took off it’s a sucky feeling. As cheesy as it sounds communication is key and being an advocate for yourself is the best way to go and his willingness to help and understand where your coming from is either going to make it or break it your not alone mama a lot of us have felt that same way 🩷
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