I just need cheating advice
So my husband and I have been together 11 years now and married for 4 of those. I found out before we were married about him talking to other women. I told him I wasn't going to deal with it while we were married. Well here we are and I'm still dealing with it. We worked very hard to get pregnant since cancer years ago made things hard now, I went through infertility treatment, paid for everything. Well now we have a beautiful son. I took care of him since the day we got home. I had a vaginal tear from the birth and was literally holding the baby while cleaning it over the toilet. My husband spent his paternity leave playing video games. I went through the emotional roller coaster of being a first time mom all by myself. I was too ashamed to ask for help. The week of my sons first birthday, I can tell there's something off with my husband. He finally came clean, he hold me that he only loved me as a mother and a friend. That he wasn't happy anymore. He had been talking and made time to see another girl who has a daughter. He said he was happy and was starting to fall in love with her. He lost weight for her, made time for her and was happy with her. When he finally told her about me she ditched him and he wants to try to see if we can be happy again. I waited 10 years with him for him to be ready, for him to want kids, for this. I was told I could be a stay at home mom, I have always wanted a big family and to raise my children. I quit my job to take care of our son. Just for him to disrespect me all over again and pretend like we don't exist. Please help. I have one foot in the door and one out. I just don't know how to start over with a toddler
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Damn, I am so sorry to hear this, I wish I could hug you!!!
This man is an absolute fucking idiot. I know it seems hard to start again, but if he has been doing this since before you were married, I really don't know if he would change. I would send his ass to the curb, you need to prioritize you and your baby, being in a half marriage is not doing that.
In the nicest possible way… he will never respect you if you stay with him
I don't want anything I say to be hurtful to you.. I am going to say it how I see it though.
1. You shouldn't have married him without seeing a major reformation of who he was.. 2. It sounds like you and he don't have great communication in order to thrive as a couple. 3. He already did all of the bad behind your back; got burned, realized his wrong (finally!) and now has come clean and wants to rebuild... it's now in your court IF you want to rebuild. 4. Because ha wants to try to rebuild, he's currently in the best state of your entire relationship to FINALLY man up and be the partner you should have had all along. Deep counseling COULD possibly save your marriage; but you also need to learn how to be vulnerable with him, you need to tell him what you went through silently next to him. You need to hold a mirror up to every time he's living like a selfish child.. IF you decide to stay with him.
My heart hurts for you. I wish I could give you a big sister hug and a week away from the emotions just to process
The real question is is he willing to go to couples counseling to try and fix things? Can he regain your trust? I'm so sorry that you are going through this while caring for his child. You deserve a good man who is willing to bend over backwards for you and your baby. If you have family support I say weigh out your options and do what's in the best interest of your child and you.
Throw the whole man away. Thats not right at all. Yes it will be hard but, you can do it. What he has done and said is not right at all and you should never be made to feel that way
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