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Mamas with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders

I'm really struggling

I'm falling apart. Me and my ex broke up in November last year, we have a two year old and we are still living together. Being around him makes me so miserable. I struggled really bad well still am with my mental health post partum and his and his family were awful. I don't have any friends or family so literally have no where to turn or any support. I'm breaking and I am worried it's going to have an impact on mine and my little boys relationship. He already prefers his daddy

I'm not sleeping, well to be honest I'm lucky it I get more than 4 hours of broken sleep, it's been like that for the last two years. My son wakes a lot for milky and comfortable, my ex had never done a night wake. My little one iis breasfed.

I just want to move out so bad but keep getting turned down because of money and then my ex says he can't afford to move (despite making double the money I do) and that we have to make the decision together. I feel so trapped and terrified he will take my son.

I'm really struggling sorry, I don't even know why I'm posting this I guess I just need to get it out. I feel so alone.