Are they right?
Im 8 days postpartum with our 2nd, our 1st born is 2yrs.
My hubby has a 50th birthday today from 3pm i always suggested he should go show his face etc so he plans to go from when it starts til maybe 7 (which is time our 2yr old will be in bed asleep)
I rang my parents who live 5mins away to see if they would come over and help me as im ebf and my mums response wasnt great, she said she thinks its wrong as he son paternity leave and he should be going once the kids are in bed.
So basically didnt go down well, she moaned hes meant to support me not go out enjoying himself. Weve cancelled numerous events hes been invited to due to him helping me in the run up to us having baby no.2.
Ive told my parents not to worry about it. Ive askd my brother in law instead and he said yes, its just to watch/settle the newborn whilst I do bedtime routine with our toddler which takes around an hour.
Should I of just done this alone? Single mums would have to make it work and they manage. There will be times where I am in this situation, I just felt at 8days in i dont need to be in that situation yet?
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I think it's totally fine to ask for the help if you're happy your partner is going! It's not up to your mum to tell you how to do your relationship! You're absolutely allowed to ask for help and totally fine if you're okay with him going for a few hours!
I personally don’t see a problem with it. I am 10 weeks pp and my husband took a month off to help me. However we both said that it was important for us to have some downtime and to still do things that we’re important to us (we just had to scale back the AMOUNT of things in the calendar significantly). So long as you both discussed him going to that event and you’re both ok with it, I don’t see a reason for it to be a problem. Yes, he is meant to be there to support you on paternity leave but he also needs time away from baby (you also need some free time) in order for him to perform at his best. I was fine for my husband to still go out with his friends for 2 hours every Friday so long as I could contact him and he let me know what time he was coming home. He would then do the next feed when he came in. If people outside your marriage have an issue, that’s their opinion. Equally, they are entitled to not help if they don’t want to or don’t agree. It’s your marriage and your rules. ❤️
It just made me feel bad that they are moaning about lack of support, she did text to say she's sorry if she's upset me and they would help if I need them to, but ive told them not to worry.
It is harder/daunting with multiple kids to manage alone. I'd feel the same if this was our 1st.
I cant seem to get any down time atm as im ebf our newborn. Im lucky if I get a catnap in the afternoon when my hubby takes our toddler for a nap and I stay at home with the newborn thats as much as I get atm
I had a 15 week old and a 2.5 year old toddler. My partner has gone out today with his work friends and my only condition was that he needs to get his mam to have our toddler overnight as I haven’t mastered getting her to sleep on my own yet as I can get the baby asleep but my toddler always wakes him up🫠
He also went out once when my son was a couple of days old to a gig with his friends and I asked him to get our daughter asleep first which he did do.
So there’s 100% no reason for feeling bad for asking your mam to help. Her response was not helpful at all and should be ashamed of herself. So glad your brother in law agreed to help😊x
Im sure she's just being protective as hubby was not helpful with our 1st etc.
I did ask on the day but I had mentioned this party before baby had arrived and that I said he should go etc.
I might of been ok on my own had we fitted the stair gate at the bottom of the stairs. Atleast having brother in law here it will take some pressure off if need be, it might be absolutely fine and newborn sleep through til ive put toddler to bed in his room but things never go to plan so always worth having a back up 🫠
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